


The Lies We Told That Summer

by thespectaculareight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Amnesia, Anxiety, College Student Eren Yeager, Depressed Eren Yeager, Depression, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Issues, Fireflies, Fireworks, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, M/M, Paranoia, Psychological Torture, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Science Experiments, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Summer, Summer Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-06-16 20:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15445614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespectaculareight/pseuds/thespectaculareight
Summary: My name is Eren Yeager. I'm that average high school graduate who's preparing to go into college. Or at least, that's what l'd like to say. There's one minor detail I skipped over. I don't remember my life. It's as simple as that.Yep. Who would've thought when you attempted suicide and survived, you'd get amnesia.I don't know my own friends, my own family, those who claim to be them, I haven't the faintest whiff of a memory... So why do I only remember him? The only thing I do remember is a short black-haired man. A man who apparently, according to my "friends and family" never appeared in my life.





	1. Forgive Me, but Who are You?

**Author's Note:**

> So... my second fic (and its another Attack on Titan xP). Don't judge. I kinda liked this idea. Besides, I wanted to do another genre, more mystery/thriller kinda thing and more romance and fluff, instead of all stabby stabby murder assassin, ya know?  
> Anyone tell me what ya think! (I'm duel wielding this with my other AOT fic, so it may be longer to write each chapter!)

Hospital. That’s the scent that curled into my nose. So, when I wearily blinked open my eyes, I did expect to see the white walls and feel the lump of a bed beneath me.  
  
What I didn’t know, was why the hell was I in a hospital?  
  
And who was the person slumped in a seat, drifting into sleep, besides my bedside?  
  
I tilted my head a bit, leaning forward to get a good look at the girl. Short black hair that hung over her face. A small frame, but she looked strong, lean. Intrigued by the mysterious stranger, I pushed back her hair to look into her face. Prompt lips, thick dark eyelashes, smooth cheeks, and heavy eyelids glued shut.  
  
A hand caught my wrist, I froze and winced. A dull pain spreading through my arm, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the girl’s face.  
  
The heavy eyelids blinked drowsily open, dark eyes staring into my soul, making me shiver. She froze.  
  
“Eren!” she suddenly cried, crushing me into a hug. Her eyes widened, “I have to find a doctor! Wait. Are you okay? No, wait. Why did you do that Eren!? Was it my fault? It had to be my fault, I should’ve protected you better…” she started muttering to herself, her joy crushed by a sudden wave of guilt.  
  
I frowned. Who was this girl? And who was Eren? And…  
  
“Hey, Misaka, I brought some food for you and- Oh my god he’s awake! I’ll go get the nurse and doctor!”  
  
I glanced from the girl to catch the glimpse of a short blonde kid darting out.  
  
The girl pulled herself out of her guilt trance to stare out the door, a smile on her lips, then looked back to me, “Armin’s finally here.”  
  
I frowned again. Armin?  
  
The girl glared at me, “Hey, Armin’s your best friend! Don’t grimace! He skipped his college classes for today to visit you!”  
  
“Oh, uh, sorry.”  
  
Her eyes narrowed, “What the hell? That almost sounded genuine...”  
  
I stared at my hands, why were white-seared scars on the back of my palms? The lines streaked across them and poured onto my forearm. I frowned, studying my other hand which mimicked the scratches.   
Then I turned my palms up and gasped.  
  
These weren’t simply scratches, they were… I pushed my arms out, squeezing my eyes shut. They were...  
  
Self-inflicted. Self-harm. These scars and cuts were my doing.  
  
And both my wrists were shrouded with white gauze, hiding the vertical slits that I knew were there. Why else would I be here? “Attempted suicide, I’m here for attempted suicide?” I asked, looking to the girl for affirmation.  
  
She looked away, nodding, her confident voice becoming weak, “I… yes. Yes.”  
  
I gazed at the hands, wrists, forearms. So many. So…. “Repulsive,” I whispered.  
  
She looked up sharply, “Don’t say that, Eren!”  
  
Eren…? Why was she calling me Eren?  
  
Then, it clicked.  
  
I may not have known this girl or the blonde boy, but I also didn’t know myself.  
  
My voice was shaky, “Who-who am I?”  
  
The girl peered at me, “Eren.”  
  
“Eren…?” I prompted her.  
  
“Eren Yaeger!” she gave me a strange look, while I stared at her blankly. She sighed, “You’re Eren Yaeger, eighteen-years-old, you’re going to Shinaganshi college with me in the fall!”  
  
And… Nope, didn’t ring a bell.  
  
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I don’t know who I am.” I looked at her.  
  
Her gaze was pleading, “Eren! Stop playing around!”  
  
“Forgive me,” I said, “But… but who are you?”  
  
That’s when the girl let’s her walls fall, a tear sidling down her cheek, “Eren, I’m your sister. Mikasa.”  
  
Oh.  
  
At the time, I should’ve felt bad. I should’ve hugged and her apologized for not recognizing her, but all I did was say, “Oh.”  
  
That’s when the blonde kid burst through with a doctor and nurse following him.  
  
“How is he?” the doctor said, round glasses and long hair pulled back into a short ponytail, he strolled to my side, “I’m surprised you’re not glaring at me, son.”  
  
“Dad, he doesn’t remember me,” the girl, Mikasa, choked out, “He doesn’t remember himself. I doubt he remembers anyone.”  
  
The doctor’s eyes widened, “You… who am I?”  
  
“Uh…” I shrugged, cheeks burning.  
  
“What about me?” The blonde boy piped.  
  
I shook my head.  
  
The doctor, supposedly my father, leaned forward, then turned around. He seemed… distant. Steel eyes heavy and cold like the winds of winter. “Amnesia,” he declared, “Most likely psychological amnesia, a rare kind too, the trauma of his attempted suicide probably triggered this. He will probably regain back fractions of his memory, or even all of it, though it could take weeks, months, even years. And there’s always that chance he simply won’t regain his memory.” The doctor, spun back to me, facing me, “Hello, I’m Grisha Yeager. Your father.” The he simply walked out, leaving the nurse to work on me.  
  
The blonde kid held out his hand to me, moving to my side, “I’m Armin Arlert, your friend.”  
  
I took Armin’s hand, shaking it, “Uh, hi.”  
  
Armin waved to Mikasa’s defeated form, “And Mikasa’s your adopted sister.”  
  
I nodded.  
  
The nurse suddenly spoke up, “It’d be best if he didn’t have visitors so soon after waking. I’d like it if you left him alone for the rest of they day.”  
  
Mikasa suddenly darted out of her chair, glaring daggers at the nurse, “No way! He’s still my brother even if he doesn’t remember me. And by the end of the day, I’ll force him to remember me. One way or another!”  
  
Mikasa’s words sounded very threatening to myself, and the nurse had gone pale through Mikasa’s harsh words and thunderous eyes. The nurse murmured an excuse and scurried out, nodding that it’d be okay if she stayed a bit longer. Mikasa plopped back down onto the chair.  
  
“Damn, your scary,” I muttered.  
  
“What was that, Eren?” Mikasa hissed.  
  
“Nothing!” I yelped. How was I not recalling Mikasa, with all of these ferocious angry vibes she was giving off.  
  
Armin chuckled, “Yeah, Mikasa can be a bit scary. Remember when...” Armin trailed off, realizing what he’d said, “Uh, sorry.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  
  
“Its fine,” I assured him, yawning.  
  
“Maybe we should leave, you seem tired.” Armin took Mikasa’s wrist, pulling her out of the chair.  
  
“But I haven’t got him to remember me yet!” Mikasa protested, but she herself seemed extremely tired from waiting by my side for so long.  
  
“We’ll see you tomorrow!” Armin said, smiling as they exited.  
  
I smiled, maybe I didn’t recall my friends, but I liked them. Armin the clear-headed one, and Mikasa, my sister, the stubborn protective one.  
  
“They seemed nice enough,” I murmured, yawning again.  
  
The silence lured me away into sleep.


	2. A Collection of Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, the second chapter. Actually, rlly like this chapter!!! Levi is introduced too :D Hope its likable, and thanks for all the support tooo!  
> I also forgot to mention that, there may be things triggering in this story. Mentions and implied topics of rape, suicide, self-harm, and similar/other things as well. Just forewarning.

Armin was true to his words. He and Mikasa visited the day after. It was nice to know that someone cared about me, even if I didn’t know them anymore.  
  
And so, we talked. Long talks about their life, who they were, their interests. They never mentioned me in the past, they seemed to skim over the details when a story included me, they were merciful by doing that.   
They were understanding. Sparing my guilt and frustration of being an eighteen-year-old with no past.  
  
It was nice to know more about them though. Like how Armin had skipped his high school senior year, and had gone straight to college a year early at seventeen-years-old, though he was almost done with his freshman year of college since it was late May, and summer was approaching quickly. And Mikasa, who apparently went to the same high school as me, had a week left of school before she graduated and had begun an early summer job.  
  
When they did leave, it was late evening, and I felt more than alone. Doctor Grisha, my father, also stopped by, only to check on my condition, to see if any memory had resurfaced. He stood stiffly, tall, hair pulled back neatly and glasses pecked on his face tightly. He didn’t greet me like a father, or talk to me like a son; he was the professional doctor.  
  
He swooped down to take my vitals and that was it, letting a dreadful and awkward silence fall before us. “So,” I said nervously, breaking the silence, “um, when do I get out?”  
  
“A few more days, but your on suicide watch, so when you do get out you’ll be on a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold.” Still the serene doctor.  
  
“Oh?” I looked away, the cuts on my wrists burned at his words, a reminder of my wrongdoing.  
  
“Basically, you’ll be moved to a psychiatric ward for seveny-two hours, whether you want to or not.”  
  
“Ah,” I simply nodded.  
  
“But you’ll most likely be there for those seventy-two hours only, you seem… off. Different than the old you. More cheerful and open, optimistic too, you’re a completely reborn and new person, Eren.”  
  
I shivered. What was the old Eren Yeager like? A depressed, stone-faced, mutilating freak? Did I used to go out of my way to ignore people and refuse to seek mental health?  
  
It pained me.  
  
It pained me to think that I could’ve been like that.  
  
But I was me, new and unbranded. As if I was freshly born. As if God had given me another chance.  
  
I was Eren Yeager, an eighteen-year-old graduate, who was going to live their life. Awake and unafraid.  
  
My father finished the check-in, excused himself, and I was left to my thoughts as twilight descended.  
____________________________________________________________________________

A few days later, as my father had promised, I was admitted into a psych ward.  
  
Mikasa and Armin had accompanied me there, while my father drove me to the hospital. We all sat, squished together in the backseat, as my two friends -yes, no matter what I didn’t remember, I would always consider these goofballs to be my friends- rambled on and on about their week. Mikasa had just graduated.  
  
“God, am I not gonna miss that school! I swear, everyone sucks there,” she yawned, stretching her arms even if the trip was a short one.  
  
“Really?” I asked, trying to keep my envy under control, only my eye twitching a bit giving off my jealousy. I was irritated that she could say that, while I hadn’t gotten to experience the graduation ceremony, even if   
I had technically finished high school.  
  
“Yeah,” she continued on, “They all just simply suck.”  
  
“Explain,” I said my eyes narrowing, I realized now that I wasn’t hiding my blatant malice.  
  
Mikasa frowned, “Well, they’re were a lot of bullies actually…”  
  
My eyes widened slightly, “Did they… did they bully me?”  
  
Mikasa looked away, guilty written over her face, “You always said they didn’t, but… bruises battered your body often, you just claimed to be really clumsy.” she laughed bitterly, “And I believed you. In truth, yes, you were bullied, often, is what I heard after you were admitted to the hospital.”  
  
I looked away, my gauze-covered wrists seared slightly at the mention of the hospital. I glanced to the front of the car, only to realize that my father was watching me keenly through the rearview mirror. Reserved grey eyes studying me silently. Oh. He was watching for my reaction, to see if I would act like… the old me or become something new.  
  
“I must’ve been pitiful,” I stated simply.  
  
“Eren, don’t say that-” Armin began, but I cut him off, continuing.  
  
“But I’m not the same old Eren. I’m… different now, I realize it.”  
  
There was silence for a bit until my father announced, “We’re here.” I glanced back at the rearview mirror and met my father’s eyes, there was a hint of approval in those aloof eyes. Approval because of what I had said, and that I had spoke with matching formality as him. A warm spark lighted in my chest from that small praise. I was proud at my words, and I wanted to make my father proud too.  
  
And so we were here. The brick building that was the psychiatric hospital was a simply layout, large, tall, and rectangular. The front lawn far from unkempt, with flowers of a variety perked beside the house, and a few small fountains tucked to the sides of the spacious, green lawn. Simple, yet elegant.  
  
“This seems fancy,” I noted to myself as I stepped out of the car, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.  
  
Armin, Mikasa, and I followed my father as he led us up the steps and into the building. I waited anxiously besides my friends as my father spoke to the secretary, she nodded at his words and replied.  
  
After a few moments, she stood up and walked over to me, she took my bag, saying she’d give it back after they had finished the routine check of it. Then she smiled and said, “Hello. It is very nice to meet you, Eren Yeager. I’ll give you a few moments to say goodbye to your friends and family, then I’ll walk you to your room, okay?”  
  
I nodded, and she backed up, waiting besides double doors that led deeper into the ward.  
  
I turned back to the two most supportive people in my world, “So, see ya, in seventy-two hours…”  
  
“Nonsense!” Armin declared, “We’ll visit you here at least once.”  
  
“You don’t have to do that, it’s only three days, that’s all it is.”  
  
“We’re your friends,” Mikasa insisted, “And I’m your sister, so I have to watch over you.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” I nodded, “So,uh, bye.” I faced back to the double doors and the secretary but before I could even take a step, two pairs of arms were hugging my torso tightly, gripping me as if it were the end of the world.  
  
I smiled, “Don’t worry.” and I pried their clutches off of me. Mikasa was sniffling and Armin was comforting her as the lady punched in a code to the keypad which apparently was the only way to open the door.  
  
I gave one last glance over my shoulder, towards my father. Our eyes met, and I mouthed, ‘I’ll be back soon.’  
  
He nodded curtly.  
  
And with that, I strolled through the doors at the heels of the secretary. I was entering a new world, a world filled with the curling scent of hospital, and brimming with people just like the old Eren Yeager.  
  
I kept my eyes forward as I strode through the labyrinth of halls.  
  
She first took me to a room, claiming I’d need a physical exam, and needed blood drawn, and such. Which two male nurses worked on for about half an hour, before letting me continue deeper into the clutches of the ward.  
  
The secretary escorting me began chatting about the place, “This first floor holds all patients from the ages of eighteen to twenty-six. The upper floors hold the older patients.”  
  
“You’d think they’d have patients by the severity of their illness,” I commented.  
  
“Er, well, it was like that for a while. But the age differences didn’t do well in bonding with patients and- Oh! We’re here! This is your room, I hope you don’t mind, but you have a roommate. His name is-” she clicked open the white door and swung it open.  
  
The world seemed to slow by a million as I saw the man laying on the bed, his bored eyes fixed on the words of the book. And a feeling that I hadn’t felt in the days since awakening in the hospital crashed into me as I stared at the man.  
  
Recognition.  
  
A collection of memories pulled on me, too quick to fully grasp. But the emotions were true as they flared and died, too quickly to keep.  
  
A summer of fireworks. Fireflies. Blooming friendship.  
  
But a winter of heated kisses. Passion from flames. Familiarity.  
  
And a spring of loss. The flowers blossoming too late, only to catch the thorns.  
  
The thoughts, the emotions, I didn’t understand them. And I didn’t know how they associated with my new roommate, all I knew was the feeling of… recognition.  
  
“-Levi Ackerman.”  
  
The man glanced up at the mention of his name. His eyes widened at me, his mouth gaping open slightly, before he snapped it shut and looked away, rolling over so not to face me.  
  
“Levi,” the secretary pouted, “Don’t be rude to your new roommate. His name is Eren Yeager, and he’s had a tough time too. He has amnesia.”  
  
Levi, my new roommate, turned back to me, “So, he doesn’t remember any of his past?” Levi’s deep voice was soothing and soft, it made me shiver slightly.  
  
“That’s true,” she nodded, “He doesn’t even remember himself and-”  
  
“That’s enough,” I declared coldly, staring down at the woman.  
  
“Oh, uh, sorry,” she apologized sheepishly, her ears burning red, she turned and hurried out of the room, calling out behind her, “Make sure to show him around the floor, Levi!” And then she was scurrying back towards her desk at the front of the building.  
  
Levi eyed me cynically, “I suppose I could show you around, kid. A shame it’ll take me away from my book.”  
  
He sighed, and closed his book, standing up.


	3. Amnesia Wasn't that Big of a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, I haven't posted in a bit. SORRY! School's coming up :P, and I've been a bit busy. Anyway, not the most exciting chapter, but Levi says some stuff to Eren that seems... off ;). Also, to anyone who's interested in my other AOT fanfic I've made, yes, that's taken even looonnger break than this story, sorry. I'll update it tomorrow evening or so.  
> Also it's 3 AM I can't sleep, I'm running on depression and caffeine, so if any mistakes are made, I apologize. Happy reading!

Short. That’s the first word that came to mind as Levi stood up. He was short. But he made up with his lack of height, by the sheer presence of him. He was cleaned up, neat. Black undercut hair sleek and precise, his steel eyes intense yet his face impassive. And he wore a simple grey short sleeved shirt, and sweats. Even while wearing casual clothing he looked impressive.  
  
I spun to study the room I’d now be staying in. Simple white walls, marble white floors, two small dressers, two beds, a window sealed shut on the farthest wall, and a bathroom with a “door” that looked like a western saloon door. I walked over there pushing the doors open, they swung back and forth at my touch. “Huh.”  
  
“It’s so you can’t barricade and lock yourself in there. And if you try to do something stupid, the nurses can enter quickly,” Levi answered my unasked question, his voice right in my ear.  
  
I jumped, spinning around to face him. I narrowed my eyes at him accusingly, and he just shrugged innocently.  
  
“Come on, let’s hurry this up so I can get back to my book before lunch.” Levi hurried out of the room and into the hall, expecting me to follow.  
  
I obliged, trailing on his heels.  
  
He glanced behind him, “You have to wear hospital clothes for the first seventy-two hours here.” He ushered me into a room with a container of hospital scrubs for patients.  
  
“Don’t worry,” I yawned, “I’ll only be here for that long.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll wait outside while you change,” and Levi slinked back out the door.  
  
I stripped off my clothes, which was only my jeans and long sleeve shirt, since they’d taken my shoes and I’d decided to keep on wearing my socks. I pulled on the silky light blue hospital pants and then reached for a matching shirt. Only to realize there weren’t any long sleeves. I froze, a nauseating wave of uneasiness and self-consciousness swept through me. My arms, they were out for the world to see. To be judged and spit on. The broad suicidal cuts on each of my wrists scorched at the thought of my self-inflicted wounds being displayed in the open.  
  
“Um,” I spoke through the door, “Levi?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“They don’t have any long sleeved shirts.”  
  
“No, they don’t,” he answered simply.  
  
“Oh.” I was debating on whether to come out with the short sleeved shirt, or to put my long sleeved shirt on.  
  
Levi sighed through the door, “Kid, everyone wears short sleeves on their first three days, so just deal with it.”  
  
“O-okay.” I picked up the matching blue shirt and pulled it over myself. It didn’t hide any of the white seared scars, or the angry red cuts. The scars that marred over my arms and curled over the back of my hands were unmistakably visible. I groaned.  
  
Levi cracked open the door, poking his head in, “Why do you even want long sleeves anywa- oh.” He gazed at my arms. Suddenly, he was strolling towards me, he picked up one of my arms, his finger tracing over the scars.  
  
Why did this feel like deja vu?  
  
I shivered.  
  
“Why did you do so many more?” his silver eyes were… troubled.  
  
“I-I don’t know,” I held my arms out, “But it’s disgusting.”  
  
Those knowing eyes of his narrowed, “Don’t say that.” Then he eyed the gauze at my wrists, “Attempted suicide?”  
  
I looked away, “That’s what they say.”  
  
“Oh,” he hummed remotely, “Best to hurry up.”  
  
I followed him out the door and we continued our march through the halls in silence. After a few turns, we entered a large chamber littered with sofas and chairs, and a TV.  
  
“This is the common area,” Levi informed, “Has places to sit and a TV, all that shit.”  
  
I nodded curtly.  
  
Then he was hastening his pace towards another hall, continuing his tour.  
  
He showed me the public bathrooms, a row of toilets and showers with thin opaque curtains. The room that followed after was a small cafeteria, complete with long tables and benches, once again white walls and checkered floor tiles. A few more rooms, an incentive room complete with a few computers, a wall of board games and an opposing wall of books.  
  
As we left, concluding the tour, I asked, “Hey, where is everyone?”  
  
“Group therapy with the stupidass psychiatrist.”  
  
“Why aren’t you there?” I asked, dumbfounded.  
  
“Erwin suggested I show you the ropes, guess he got tired of me.” Levi shrugged, but a devilish glint caught his eyes as he spoke. So, Levi was a bit of a troublemaker. “Anyway, once our tour was done he said to bring you to the therapy session, so hurry up.” He trotted out of the incentive room and down the corridor, reaching a door at the end, which he flung open, waving me to follow.  
  
I followed in after Levi. The room was simple, decorated with calming paintings a shelf of binders, and in the middle of room, a group of chairs circled up, each taken up by someone. There were two empty ones.  
  
A man stood up, gesturing wildly for me to take a seat, “Ah! You must be the famous Eren I’ve heard so much about! Please, sit.”  
  
I moved to an open seat besides a girl about my age if not a bit older than me, with brown hair tied into a ponytail, she glanced over and smiled, waving. The other kid to my right had a subtle undercut, light brown hair toping his head messily. He gave me one long look, then snorted, “What a dweeb.”  
  
The words that came from my mouth were automatic, no restraint with my tongue, “What a horse faced asshole.” I glared at him.  
  
He froze, as if not expecting me to snap back at him, “Shut up,” he muttered, looking away.  
  
I sniffed, turning back to the group, Erwin frowned at the short concise exchange, yet remained silent. The rest of the group snickered a bit, even Levi was hiding his mouth behind his hands.  
  
“Well,” Erwin continued, addressing me, “I’m Dr. Smith. But you can just call me Erwin if it’s more comfortable.”  
  
“Smith is fine,” I replied simply.  
  
“Okay, well, anyway,” Smith addressed the full group, “Let’s do introductions… where’s Levi?”  
  
“Slipped out while you were speaking,” a man yawned, “Muttered something about getting back to a book.”  
  
Dr. Smith sighed, “Alright, let’s just get on now. Besides Eren already met Levi. Let’s start with you, Sasha, remember say your name and a little something about yourself.”  
  
The girl who was settled to my left squealed, “Alright! So, my name is Sasha, and I love all kinds of foods! Like steak, and lasagna, and tacos, and potatoes-”  
  
One of the other patients fell into a fit of fake coughs murmuring in between her coughs in a loud voice, “-potato girl-”  
  
“Shut up, Hanji! That wasn’t my fault, the meal had food poisoning-”  
  
“Uh, what?” I questioned.  
  
The guy besides me leaned in, not seeming as pissed anymore, whispering into my ear, “She was eating a ton, as she always does, and ended up barfing all over the cafeteria, the puke looked just like mashed potatoes. Imagine it, projectile vomit flying everywhere from this frail girl, and the vomit looks just like fucking mashed potatoes a dish that everyone cherishes- well, not anymore. Everyone here is mentally scarred from that incident.”  
  
“Shut up, Jean!” Sasha wailed, throwing a dinner roll that had seemingly appeared out of thin air.  
  
“Okay, okay, calm down both of you. Everyone remembers the potato incident,” Smith visibly shuddered, “Now let’s continue introductions around.”  
  
We went around the circle of nine others.  
  
“My name’s Bertholt and I like cats, they’re pretty chill.” Alright, the dark-haired, extremely fucking tall, odd named guy who was into cats.  
  
“Hi,” a petite blonde says shyly, “I’m Krista Lenz, I like to read and animals are pretty cute too.” So she was the shy, uncertain short blue-eyed girl.  
  
An intimidating girl followed after, “Ymir, and if you touch Krista, you’re dead, kid.” Good to know, I noted.  
  
“Reiner Braun.” A broad-shouldered and hazel-eyed guy simply stated.  
  
“Annie,” a hard-eyed girl growled, turning her head and glaring me in the eyes menacingly.  
  
The guy who followed after grinned, “Marco Bott. A smoothtalker and ladies man all at once!”  
  
“That’s a lie and you know it, Marco!” Sasha declared.  
  
“Sweetie, don’t tarnish my good name in front of a newcomer!”  
  
I leaned towards the guy -Jean- to my right, whispering, “Why does he speak like he’s from a western?”  
  
“Because he thinks he’s a true gentleman,” Jean whispered back.  
  
I nodded pulling away as the greetings continued. It followed with a boy named Connie, surprisingly, even shorter than Levi. An eccentric babbling four-eyed woman who claimed to be quite effective with chemistry and science as one, called Hanji. And lastly, the guy to my right, who was partially a jackass, but mostly cooperative, and who’s name was in fact, Jean, as I had assumed.  
“Now, introduce yourself, Eren!” Erwin insisted.  
  
“Okay, well, uh, my name’s Eren. And I like…”  
  
I froze. What did I like? I had no single clue, so I just shrugged.  
  
Jean snorted, “How do you not know what you like?”  
  
“Amnesia,” I stated bluntly.  
  
There was silence.  
  
“Woah, so this dude doesn’t remember his past or anything?” Hanji asked Mr. Smith, he nodded. “That’s so cool!”  
  
“That’s like the beginning of a comic book!” Connie announced.  
  
“How long were you in the hospital? I swear hospital jelly is god-” Sasha ranted on and on, question after question about the foods I had eaten.  
  
I shrugged again as the group chatted on about my case. I suppose I wasn’t that odd here.  
  
I mean, I was dealing with people who lived in a mental institute.  
  
Amnesia wasn’t that big of a deal.


	4. Humanity's Strongest. Ocean Eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying I just wrote "Squirmish" at first instead of what I meant "skirmish." That's how tired I am, okay, it's 4 AM, I can't sleep worth shit. So enjoy this new chapter. Also- wHy iS nO oNe coMmeNting? I feel so betrayed, doodes, give me feedback or whatever, I mean I love the kudos and stuff, but, IDK WHAT YOU PEEPS WANT AND I DONT QUITE KNOW WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING ITS A LOOSELY PANELED IDEA SCREEEDH  
> \----  
> OH MY GOD THERES A CRICKET IN TEH CORNER OF MY ROOM IM CRYING HEALP  
> \---  
> nvrmind I good fam, I got dat boi out

Lunch was a madhouse. Quite literally.  
After therapy group session huggy time or whatever was over, my fellow patients were trampling to get to the tiny cafeteria. Or, to correct myself, Sasha was on my heels, rocking my shoulders, screaming into my ear viciously, “MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, SUCKERS!” I then faintly remember being thrown to the side as everyone else hurried to the lunchroom.  
I stood dumbly in the hall, alone. Wow. Okay, noted. Lunch is madness.  
I meandered after the group ahead of me, until a finger tapped my shoulder. I spun around, slightly alarmed, then relaxed when I saw the long-faced man named Jean smiling at me, “Sasha got you, didn’t she?”  
I nodded, “Damn crazy with anything to do with food.”  
“Right. Wait until Hanji starts her rants on ‘science’,” Jean shuddered, “It’s even worse than hangry Sasha.”  
“I’d like to see that,” I commented.  
“Trust me,” Jean replied, “It’s not something you want to be caught in.”  
I shrugged as we reached the cafeteria, Jean directed me to where the food was being handed out, I grabbed it and moved to sit alone.  
Jean tapped my shoulder, “Hey, don’t be so antisocial. Come sit by us.”  
“Uh, sure,” I wasn’t sure why I was making friends in this place. Hell, I should’ve been avoiding everyone so I wouldn’t get attached when I left. I wasn’t staying long, and that was a fact.  
Jean made his way over to a small group, consisting of Connie, Sasha, and now myself and Jean. I waved hello, Sasha beamed at me and Connie nodded.  
Jean smirked triumphantly, “This is our group. Connie’s our nerd, Sasha our hungry crazy freak, myself the great leader, and you can be my dumbass assistant or something.”  
I frowned, “Wow, sounds… homely.”  
Jean continued, “Let me amend that, kid-”  
“-We’re the same age-”  
“-you can be our apathetic sarcastic douchebag, got it?”  
I sighed, “Whatever, but I’m not that-” I stopped. Was I really apathetic? I mean, I got a bit riled up sometimes, and uneasy, I smiled a few times fondly, but had I ever experienced a strong riot of emotions yet? Yes. Once. When I first met Levi…  
“Yo, kid- er, Eren, or whatever. You here?” Jean waved his hands in front of my face.  
I blinked out of my thoughts, “Uh, yeah.” I paused for a moment, then decided to ask possibly catastrophic question, “So…”  
“Hmm?” Jean prompted lazily as he plopped some food into his mouth.  
“About Levi…”  
Jean looked up sharply, “That ass? Yeah, what about him?”  
History between those two maybe? Oh well, better just ask my question, “Since he’s my roommate and all I was wondering-”  
Jean spit out his food dramatically, what just happened? It was as if he had found out I was his long lost twin brother, here to murder him and take his place.  
“You’re rooming with that jerk off!?”  
“He did walk in with him,” Connie noted.  
“And I do believe Erwin told Levi to give his roomie the tour when he left,” Sasha added.  
In unison, Connie and Sasha concluded, “So it was kind of obvious.”  
Jean growled, “Oh, whatever!”  
I cut in, “Anyway, my question is: I was wondering about Levi. Why’s he here exactly?”  
Connie answered me, “So the newbie finally asks the question; what are we all in for? I’ll tell you-”  
“LEVI GUTTED SOMEONE'S INSIDES! THEN ATE HIS HEART WHOLE! Everyone knows that!!!”  
I glanced up, the geeky four-eyed ecstatic one -Hanji?- was standing behind Connie. Connie jumped, glaring at the girl’s wild-eyed grin, “Screw off, Hanji, we don’t need another one of your ‘experiments’ messing us up!”  
Hanji rolled her eyes, then stared at me, a creepy smile covering her face, “Whatever. If you want to know the actual complete truth about Levi, newbie, come to me. I’m his best friend.”  
“That’s putting it way too kindly,” Sasha snickered.  
Hanji sniffed and walked off to her own table, I watched as she sat beside another girl, Petra.  
“So, can we get on?” I asked.  
“We might as well tell you why everyone’s in,” Sasha announced.  
“Yeah. Let’s start small. Among ourselves, Jean’s here because-”  
Jean butted in, “I’ll tell him about my own condition. Thank you very much, Connie. I’m here because of my NPD and, well, to cope with my anger issues.”  
“NPD?”  
Sasha sighed, “Narcissistic personality disorder, basically he feels self-important and whatever.”  
“Hey!” Jean whined, “I was supposed to tell him about myself, afterall, it is my disorder!”  
Connie gulped down some juice, pointedly ignoring Jean’s complaints, “My turn. I have phobia.”  
I frown, “That doesn’t seem too bad, I mean, a lot of people have fears and phobias, right?”  
Jean sighed dramatically, “Connie’s is a special case. See he has multiple phobias which are-”  
Connie interjected, “Shut up, Jean. The point is, I have a bunch of extreme case phobias, past the normal standards. So here I am.”  
I glanced at Sasha, only to see her tray was void of any of the lunch food. She shrugged sheepishly, glancing away, “Bulimia nervosa, I- ah, eat a lot and then end up purging.”  
I nodded.  
“Now,” Jean declared, “Let’s explain the rest of the nuthouse group. Bertholt has some kind of extreme paranoia, hence his lonely atmosphere, doesn’t trust anyone at all. Reiner has extreme anxiety, can’t get more than a few words out of that guy. Oh, and the western-speaking dude Marco? He’s got a personality wack thing, and he’s kind of out of touch with reality too. Who else…”  
“Krista and Ymir,” Sasha said, “Krista’s got some PTSD, freaks out whenever anyone but Ymir touches her or comes to close, and Ymir’s kind of a paranoid freak, believes in aliens and the paranormal and superpowers and stuff.”  
“Plus, Annie’s has anger issues, and bipolar disorder,” Connie added.  
“What about those two?” I nodded towards Petra and Hanji.  
Jean opened his mouth to answer, but a disturbance outside in the hall caught my attention, the whole lunchroom quieted and froze, as if hitching it’s breath, before everyone exhaled and continued on.  
“What’s that?!” I questioned, as I heard shouts come from the first hall we’d entered, the dorms of the ward, something was thrown and another noise followed, almost like glass shattering.  
Sasha sighed, “Oh dear, Levi must be at it again.”  
“What?” I asked.  
“See, Levi’s a special case,” Jean spoke, “He’s a loner, refuses to hangout with anyone unless you push to say hi or something. Petra and Hanji are more like his underlings than his friends. They just sit by him to seem cool obviously.”  
“Hanji has schizotypal personality disorder, which mean she doesn’t have too many relationships and is quite eccentric and odd. It affected her daily living too much so she was shipped off here. And Petra, well she’s two-faced,” Connie explained.  
“Two-faced?”  
“Split personalities,” Connie clarified, “Basically anything Petra’s mind deems stressful or anxiety-giving pushes a new personality into effect. We call other-Petra, Pip. She’s… an experience.”  
“Ah. What about Levi, though?”  
Sasha frowned, “Levi… well, it’s like what Jean said. Levi’s a special case, very special.”  
“He has too many things fucked with him!” Jean injected, “So many disorders, phobias… you name it, and he’ll probably have it.”  
“Huh,” I murmured thoughtfully.  
“He’s probably been drugged by now too,” Jean said, “That’s what happens if you refuse to go to mealtimes, or start fights, or anything of the sort.”  
“Woah, isn’t that kind of harsh?”  
Connie laughed bitterly, “What do you expect, Eren? This is a mental facility, we are deemed something like insane.”  
“True dat,” Saha said between bites of a jello cup she’d unexpectedly obtained mysteriously…  
“Wait! Is that my desert jello?!?” I reached for it, knowing full damn well that the small cup blessed with orange jello was my divine dessert, “Give it back, you pig! I was saving that for later!”  
“No way, finders keepers!” Sasha pulled back, gobbling down the jello in seconds, leaving nothing but the plastic cup.  
“Traitor!” I hissed as I launched a pea at her from my spoon.  
She grinned, catching the pea expertly between her teeth.  
I stared at her, horrified, “You’re a damn demon, Sasha…”  
She cackled, too much like Hanji’s terrifying laughter, as she sucked the pea into her mouth and chewed, “I am a god among food!”  
“No shit, potato girl!” Jean snorted.  
She scowled, “Shut it with that crap, Jean! The potato incident was weeks ago!”  
And that’s how lunch continued, us poking fun at each other, jokes thrown loosely around, and Sasha eating most of our meals. I’d become close with my fellow patients in a period of lunch, and it was nice knowing that I could be such a social butterfly, no matter what I used to be like. Apparently, it didn’t cross their minds to ask about my condition either, which was a relief, and they probably were too busy insulting each other to wonder about what was fucked up with me.  
As soon as we were dismissed I decided to see if Levi was okay, I just wanted to make sure he hadn’t suffered to much damage when scuffling with nurses. By what Jean had said though, Levi probably endured shit like this constantly. Still. I was his new roommate, best to check up on him, right?  
I peeked into the room, the door was cracked partially open, but still obscured most of the room, including the beds. I pulled it open the rest of the way, slipping in and letting the door close enough just for a crack to be left. I let it close quietly, so as not to stir him. I turned to face him, and froze.  
He was lying on his bed, over the blankets and sheets that were still made. His eyes closed, making his face look much younger without the familiar permanent scowl. And he was… shirtless.  
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find Levi’s shirtless toned chest arousing. But what surprised me even more than his pale torso, was the fact that I did find it so captivating. True, I was already eighteen so my past self probably had experimented… That thought made me freeze suddenly. Have I had sex before? The honest answer: probably. And it was kind of scary not knowing I’d sealed the deal with a complete stranger blank of memory. But, there was always that chance that little old me was still a virgin.  
I pushed the thoughts away, as I moved closer to Levi’s form, standing right at his bedside. His chest stirred little as he slept, rising slightly then falling back. His hair was messy, probably from the skirmish, but it looked more natural and… well, hot.  
As my eyes scanned over Levi’s chest, I caught sight of a small tattoo above Levi’s right side of his chest, but just below his collarbone. It was written in cursive, in a rough handwriting. The handwriting was messy, not perfect at all, but it enthralled me. The two words were simple enough, and it was questionable what the exact meaning was:  
Humanity’s Strongest.  
I reached out, hand right above the tattoo. They must’ve symbolized something important if Levi had dared tattooed them into his skin permanently. I let my hand lower near Levi’s chest, my fingertips brushed the beautiful words, staring into his soothed face.  
I gasped softly, as a faint stinging sensation played out above my left chest, but below the collarbone. No, it wasn’t real, but the memory of stinging pain. And it appeared on the opposite side of where Levi’s tattoo was placed… I dashed to the bathroom, throwing off my shirt and staring in disbelief at the words written right below my collarbone in black cursive ink, written very neatly:  
Ocean Eyes.  
How had I not noticed this before? And was it simply a coincidence that we had similar tattoos? And how and why had I gotten a damned tattoo? I sighed, too many questions for a first day.  
I pulled my shirt back over myself and reentered the room, I made my way back to Levi’s side, staring at his tattoo that matched too closely to mine. “Dammit,” I hissed. What the fuck was going on? Did I really know Levi in the past? Had we been acquaintances, friends… or possibly even lovers?  
I shook my head, my cheeks burning at the thought. No, definitely not. The truth probably was, I was just trying to jump to conclusions to figure out my past all too hastily. Probably.  
I turned and trotted out of the room, “Fuck this shit, I’m going to go play board games with Jean and them,” I muttered.  
I’d deal with this later, or preferably never.


	5. Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo. APOLOGIES! I'm sorry, school's busy word, homework stinks, and I'm in sports. Honestly, times like this are pretty busy. Updating takes longer too. Rlly sorry. BUUUUUTTTT, for you doodes wait, I added something extra ;). Although this chapter is shorter. Hopefully I'll get another chapter by or during the weekend! Thanks for the support!

“Fuck!” Jean huffed as he flipped over two cards I had placed on the overflowing deck. They were both the aces I had promised. He gathered up the deck, now his own cards, “This is total bullshit.”  
“Actually,” Sasha corrected, “You’re just total bullshit at this game. You can’t bluff and you can’t tell when someone’s bluffing or not. BS just isn’t your game.”  
“Which is why were playing it,” Connie concluded.  
Jean muttered a few other curses under his breath as he glared at the duo.   
Sasha only grinned, glancing at me as she said, “At least you’re not as bad as Eren.”  
I scowled, “It’s not my fault! I haven’t played this game before.” I was starting to regret heading back to the common area to play unknown card games with them. It seemed luck wasn’t favoring me quite as much as I’d hoped.  
“Too bad you’re going against the master of bluffs!” Connie grinned, holding up his sparse pick of cards.   
“This totally sucks and is unfair,” Jean groaned.   
“At least you’re not losing as much as Eren,” Sasha remarked.  
“Hey!” I complained, “Stop picking on me, Sasha!”  
Sasha only smirked placing down a “five”.  
“BS!” Connie hollered.   
Sasha frowned, “Connie-”  
Connie narrowed his eyes, slowly and deliberately saying, “B-S…”  
Sasha sighed, and flipped over her card. Clearly, not a five.  
Connie barked a laugh, “Sucker!”  
“Look who’s full of himself now,” Jean snickered.  
I yawned, and the game continued with curses and shouts and laughs. It seemed that half-way through the longterm game I’d gained a bit more luck, and I had won third place, Jean taking last.  
Jean harrumphed, “That game was rigged from the start. There’s no way I lost to you losers.”  
“Seems like you’re the worst loser around if you lost to us,” I bit back.  
Jean rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I wasn’t even taking it seriously.”  
Sasha giggled, “So many excuses, Jean, you feeling extra haughty tonight?”  
Jean sniffed, not answering.  
As Connie shuffled the cards, he asked, “What game next?”  
“Poker!” a familiar voice -Hanji- chimed in behind Connie.  
Connie jumped, “Stop sneaking up on me!”  
Hanji took root besides Connie on the couch, her arms thrown over his shoulders loosely. I glanced at Sasha, who was glaring at Hanji with eyes of daggers. I was almost certain she was going to throw her stash of rolls in her pockets at Hanji but before she could Connie rolled his eyes, “We can’t, we don’t have any poker chips. Besides you’re not even playing cards with us.”  
Hanji sighed, jumping out of the seat, and began walking away to bug other patients,“Too bad.”   
I decided to suggest we play BS again, giving Jean another chance to lose all of his stuffed up pride. “What about-” I stopped mid sentence.

‘What about rummy, Eren?’

The words were a flash of a memory, and they came with no voice to say them. The words were… familiar. Home. They came from someone who I considered my home. Another sentence flashed in my mind, but they were my words.

‘Okay, but I’m not very good, xxxx.’

I strained to hear the last word of the sentence, it was a name. I was sure as hell that the last word I had said was the voice of the owner who had asked me to play rummy. But the name didn’t come, it didn’t come to my ears. The name was voiceless.  
“EREN!” I heard Sasha and Connie yell.  
I blinked, “Huh?”  
“Dude,” Jean said, “You blanked out again, maybe you should check that out, I don’t think that’s normal.”  
“Uh, yeah.” I pushed out of my seat, “I think I’m going to bed.”  
“What? But it’s only late afternoon! Like 4 PM!” Sasha chimed.  
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I slipped out of the common area, and down the hall, then entered my room mechanically. I had forgotten all about Levi, so when he asked, “What the hell are you doing in here?” I jumped.  
“Oh,” I said, looking up at him. I shook my head, clearing it, “Oh. I just needed some rest, I’m feeling a bit tired.”  
He frowned, then returned back to his book. His shirt was back on.  
“Levi.”  
He looked up, a light frown dawning on his face, as if annoyed.  
“Uh- sorry, nevermind. It’s not important.”  
“Hey,” he snapped, “Tell me, you’ve wasted my time enough already.”  
I shifted from foot to foot, my eyes falling to the tiled floor as the words fell out of my mouth, “Really. It’s not important. I-” I was hurled onto something soft so suddenly, I froze.  
I was tackled to the bed closest to us, my bed. Levi pinned me down by my wrists, his eyes hard, “What?” I could hear the tick of tongue as he waited, a slight tch.   
I glanced to the side, “You know you’re really extreme?” I dodged his irritated question.  
“Whatever. Tell it to me straight kid, you’re really annoying me.”  
I gave in, “Fine-” Wait, was Levi straddling me? My cheeks flushed, burning red at the sudden thought. I tried to push the remark away, but the blush only crept onto my neck and cheeks.  
He frowned, “You’re really red, are you okay? Or-” He glanced down at him straddled to me, I looked away, the heat flashing even worst. He grinned, it was sudden. And the lopsided grin fit his face much better than his normal scowls and frowns. “Are you getting hard?”  
I gulped, shame fueling me, “N-no! Get off!” I tried shoving him away but he only gripped my wrists tighter. I squeezed my eyes shut. Something about this seemed...  
Levi only chuckled as he pulled off, “You know, Eren-” He stopped suddenly then scowled, “Whatever.”  
My eyes snapped open. Why the sudden mood change?  
Levi grumbled something under his breath and left the comforts of our shared room. I released my breath, shaking my head. I glanced down at my crotch, satisfied that in fact, there was no evident bulge. Levi had just been teasing me like the ass he was.  
Yeah, Levi wasn’t interested in me at all.   
My cheeks still burned at the memory, at his words.  
‘Are you getting hard?’  
I rolled over, pressing my face against my mint-scented pillow, “Fuck.”


	6. Does Hercules Paint with all the Colors of the Wind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, don't judge. Super sleepy but I rlly want to put this out there. Prolly a lot of things such as punctuation, words misspelled, etc. at the end cuz I just got tired and lazy and didn't want to edit. Tho, hope its goooddd enough. Thanks! (also, this next chapter is gonna be the shit!

The next morning, I was sitting in Doctor Erwin Smith’s office.   
“So, Eren, you were admitted because of…?” His voice was light, kind.   
I frowned. Surely, Dr. Smith wasn’t ignorant of my situation. “Attempted suicide,” my voice was bored.  
“I see. And since you have amnesia which makes this case a special one…”  
I held back my snort. Obviously.  
Erwin continued, “How do you feel?”  
I plastered on a smile, “Good. I’m curious of my past. But I feel nice.” And I hella wanna get out of here.  
Dr. Smith returned my smile, “Of course. Well, if you’re really up to it and don’t feel the need to stay, I’d say your 72-hour psychiatric hold should be it. You’ll be ready to leave the day after tomorrow. And of course, legally since you don’t prove a threat to yourself or others, we can’t force you to stay.”  
I nodded, “I feel fine.”  
Erwin smiled again, dismissing me as he shuffled documents and papers around his cramped office.   
I yawned. It wasn’t even breakfast yet, or near it. And most of the other patients were asleep. Including narcissistic Jean, hungry Sasha, and phobic Connie. I was alone as I meandered down the halls toward the commons, only a sparse nurse occasionally at my passing. Silence echoed by the halls, and so, when I entered the commons I expected I’d be the one and only, besides a bored monitoring nurse.  
I was wrong.  
One other sat there.   
Hanji sat curled on a couch, wearing a loose jacket and pajamas. The TV was on low, the movie that played barely audible but…  
“Oh my shit, is that Hercules?” Even with my amnesia, I do remember Disney’s best movie of all time.  
Hanji must’ve jumped three feet off of the couch in shock at my voice, she turned her head to stare at me, fixing to sputter a weak excuse, “I- ah- um- w-what are you doing? I was just-”  
“Save your excuses,” I plopped down next to her, “This has to be-”

‘This has to be the best movie ever- Pocahontas doesn’t even compare!’  
‘But does Hercules paint with all of the colors of the winds?’  
‘Does Pocahontas go the distance?’  
‘You’re a pain, do you know that, Eren?’

I froze. Another glimpse of a memory, too quick. Another random collection of words, an unknown voice arguing against mine. Pointless arguments about Disney movies? This had to be someone close. Someone who I cared deeply for if I could argue about fucking Disney movies.  
I shook my head and pushed a weak smile back onto my lips, “This has to be the best movie ever. No need to be ashamed, Hanji. But I do wonder, what’s with hiding your love of Disney movies?”  
Hanji stared at me, her cheeks dusted with pink. The crazy four-eyed nutjob actually had a sense of embarrassment? And her secret pleasure derived from her embarrassment? Disney movies. Fucking Disney movies. “Whatever.” She looked away.  
I grinned as the movie played on. And that’s how we continued. We just watched the movie, side by side.   
Finally, half way through the movie, Hanji spoke, “I-I like Disney movies because… Because they always end so good… so happy. It’s nice to just endorse in something so pleasant, ya know?” Hanji laughed bitterly, “It’s childish, huh?”  
I shook my head, “No. Sometimes it's best to let yourself go.”  
We watched the rest of the movie in silence. As the credits rolled onto screen, Hanji hopped up and off of the leather couch. “Keep this to yourself, ‘mkay?” And with that, she bounced away, playing her eccentric roll already so early in the morning. I yawned again and stretched. Now actually alone in the common area besides a nurse tucked away in a corner.  
I sighed and jumped off the couch to, I flipped through the movies they had on a small shelf nearby the TV. Mostly Disney movies and appropriate ones, a few rated R’s here and there.  
Until a familiar title caught my eye. Pocahontas.   
I blinked. I picked up the movie, eyeing it warily.   
“What sentimental value did you used to have on me?” I muttered to myself, scratching my neck.   
“What are you doing?” I must’ve jumped higher than Hanji when I heard Levi’s deep voice.  
“The hell!?” I turned and glared down at the man below me.  
He only shrugged, “What are you looking at?” He moved to get a look at the movie in my hand.  
“Nothing,” I replied, feigning disinterest as I stuffed the movie back amidst the shelve and plopped back lazily on the couch.   
Levi picked up the exact movie I had stuffed back into the shelf randomly, he held it up, “Pochanatos?”  
“Do you like it?” Maybe this was my chance to see if I had really known Levi-- what if those memories were really of him?  
He shook his head, “Disney movies are too overrated to be honest.”  
I stared at him blankly, disappointment and disagreement settling in the pit of my stomach, “Oh.”  
Then who did I share all of these memories with?  
I shook off my thoughts and glanced at a clock plastered to the wall, “Hey it’s almost time for breakfast. C’mon.” I motioned for him to follow as I set off to the cafeteria.   
I didn’t think he’d follow, he was a stubborn short little man. And he walked by his rules, so when I glanced over my shoulder to see if he head actually followed, my eyes were wide as I saw him following.  
He looked up and noticed my ogling and scowled, “Close your mouth, you look like an ugly fish gasping for water.”   
I snapped my mouth shut, my cheeks burning as I stared forward and pushed open the cafeteria doors.  
As expected, Sasha was standing in line at the front in a onesie of a cow, eyes wide as she waited for the breakfast to be dished out, she seemed too excited for a daily meal. It seemed that she’d dragged two unsuspecting victims along as well, Jean and Connie, who looked along the lines of pissed and let-me-go-back-to-sleep-or-so-help-me.  
I smiled at the trio. One was about to piss her pants over breakfast, another was slumped over and sleeping while stand, and another was looking at a mirror on the wall and trying to fix his hair tiredly so he could “achieve his most perfect look even if he looked hot already.”  
“Hey!” I called, hurrying over to follow them in line.  
Sasha turned around, grinning widely, “They’re serving breakfast burritos today!!!”  
“Oh god, my ears,” Connie complained, startling awake from his nap.  
Jean turned to face me, “What’s up? Woah, do you always have bed head? Do even try to fix it?”  
I frowned, “I don’t really care.”  
Jean sighed, moving over to me. He reached his arms up to my head and began fixing my hair like an annoyed mother.  
“What are you? His mother?” Connie snickered.  
Jean scowled, “Shut up, Connie.”  
“Did you come here alone?” Sasha asked, dancing from foot to foot.  
“Uh- I guess so.” I glanced back but no Levi stood behind me.  
“NEVERMIND THAT, HAMMY FINALLY OPENED UP THE CAFETERIA!”   
“I told you to stop calling me that,” a beefy man behind the counter sighed.  
“I can and I will,” Sasha harrumphed, “Now serve me!”  
The man sighed, and did as she wished.  
He moved to the two tired companions, Jean and Connie, and then me.  
He nodded and smiled slightly at me.   
Breakfast was just like lunch. But with the exception of sleepy Jean and Connie. More jokes, more food stolen from Sasha, and more talk of comic books from Connie. Until Jean said something that sobered us up from the jokes.  
“So, ah, Eren, you’re in for… attempted suicide, aren’t you?” Jean stared at, eyes driving into me accusingly.  
I glanced down, staring at my hands, the scars that dashed across them. Both deep and small, old and new, faded white and angry red, “Yeah, I guess.” I laughed bitterly, just like Hanji this morning, “It was pretty noticeable, huh? The white gauze that hugged over my wrists and the scars that overran my forearms and hands. How could you miss it?”  
Sasha and Connie squirmed uncomfortably but Jean only held his steady gaze on me, “If you ever try anything that stupid again, I will literally beat you.”  
I jerked up, his unexpected words hitting me. I smiled weakly, “Hell, aren’t you fucking supportive?”  
Jean only raised his chin, “Fuck yeah.”  
“NO! STOP! What are you doing, Connie!?!?”   
I glanced over to see that while Sasha had been paying attention to my and Jean’s intense broship conversation, Connie had taken his and Sasha’s trays and dumped them.   
“I feel so betrayed,” she whispered as Connie sat back beside her.  
I snickered and Sasha shot me a death glare, rivaling the ones she’d given at Hanji the day before. Jean snorted, “That’s what you get, Potato Girl.”  
“Visiting times!” A nurse announced, cutting Sasha off from snapping at Jean.  
“Hmm,” Jean noted, “It’s kinda early for visiting times.”  
Connie shook his head, “We’ve been at breakfast for over an hour. You guys just take too fucking long.”  
Jean sniffed, “Say that to Sasha!”  
“I’m saying it to all three of you!”  
“OH MY GOD- EREN!” A new voice cut in. I almost crashed to the ground with the two pairs of arms that were crushing my ribs.  
“Oh,” I coughed, “I’m dying by your hands, Mikasa, Armin.”  
Mikasa and Armin quickly let go, letting me breath again.  
“Sorry,” they apologized. Mikasa grinned though, “I’m so happy! You look so much better and less pale!”  
I nodded, smiling too, “I feel way better too.”  
“So, uh, who are your friends?” Armin nodded towards my three awkward fellow patients who sat staring at my reunion with uncertainty.  
“That’s Connie, Sasha, and Jean. They’ve all showed me around and everything.”  
Mikasa smiled kindly at them, “Thanks for taking care of my brother, I know he can be a handful.”  
“O-of course!” Jean nodded vigorously, a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he stared at Mikasa a little too long, “We’ve sworn to protect Eren. He’s like-”  
Sasha cut in, saving Jean from humiliating himself further, “Eren’s really been nice to everyone so far.”  
Mikasa flashed a smile again.   
“Anyway,” I cut in, “I told you guys you didn’t have to come. It’s only three days.”  
“Yeah, well, we care about our best friend!” Armin stated.  
I smiled. And the conversation continued much like that. Armin and Mikasa chatted about me with Sasha and Connie, once or twice Jean butting in to say something “impressive” about himself to Mikasa. It stayed like that, right up until the hour ended, and the nurses ushered the few visitors away and out.   
And so, the day forwarded with games, jokes, and talking to Jean, Sasha, and Connie. A nightly shower after lunch and dinner and incentive games for being good patients. And the last day of my stay at the psychiatric word followed much like that. Until I was getting ready for bed.  
I slipped out of the shower in my room. A towel tied loosely around my waist, practically nude except for the white towel. I bent down to pick up the clothing I wore and quickly pulled on my undergarments first. The loose flannel pajama pants followed.  
I was shirtless when Levi walked through, dressed in mismatched pajamas and hair slightly wet from the shower he’d taken in the public restrooms voluntarily.  
He stared at my chest, and I scowled, remembering his sudden escape from breakfast the other day, and his ignoring me all today. I looked up, only to find his eyes still fixed on my naked upper half.  
“What the hell are you staring at you…” I drifted off, remembering the nearly identical tattoos on my and his chests.  
Levi took a step closer to me. My chest constricted, my breaths dripping heavy. I shook my head as soon as he shook his head. As if shaking away the thoughts of what he had been about to do.  
“Levi!” I growled. I was pissed. I didn’t know why. But I was pissed.   
He glanced at me, silver eyes bored, “The fuck do you want?”  
“I scowled again, “You know-”

‘You know, I hate how you act now. So cold. So distant. What happened?’

I froze for a moment before pushing myself to concentrate on the now, “You know, I really hate how indifferent you are to the world. Too cool to have a heart?”  
“Too annoying to shut the fuck up?” he bit back.  
And somehow, after our stupid, sloppy, useless words, we ended up fighting. We were grappling. I threw a punch, he pushed me. A nurse or three entered, holding us away from each other. Something was punctured into my arm.  
Black faded in and out, darkness swirled and took over my vision.   
Something about this…


	7. A Prelude to Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? --MEH.  
> Yup, sorry it's been awhile, huh?  
> Don't get mad doodes, but lmao events happened and I was suspended for a week and now I have to go to therapy.   
> Don't ask.  
> So yeah, here's more writing. Imma try update a lot more, but see, I have my novel I'm working on currently and that's my top writing priority.  
> Also, sorry to anyone who favors my other AOT fanfic on A3... God bless your soul for waiting so long... XDDD jk lmfao, nah, sorry murderous fans but that fics currently on hold. rip.

“A fight,” Dr. Erwin Smith cleared his throat, “is not the doing of a healthy mind.”   
I glanced at my feet, fiddling with the hem of my jacket. Although I’d already been dismissed and was just waiting for my father’s car to let me in and drive me to a home I’d forgotten so much about, Dr. Smith insisted on lecturing me.   
“Certainly not a healthy mind that has been cured of all bad thoughts and habits. Perhaps we should…” He let the words hang in the air, almost as if trying to make me choke. Another moment’s pause as he shuffled some papers, “...have you stay a little longer?”  
I refrained from jumping up or slamming my hands on the table furiously. Probably not the habits of a healthy mind either, and to show him my frustration would only give him an edge to keep me locked up in here.  
And as much as Connie, Jean, and Sasha were really cool and chill, I didn’t want to bunk with Levi the Asshole anymore. So, I pushed away the drumming of blood in my ears, and the angry flush that crossed my cheeks. I smiled, “I’m sorry, Dr. Smith,” my words are overly sweet, as if a hidden poison lurked in between, “Truthfully, I regret doing that, I’ll apologize to Levi too if I must.”  
Erwin frowned, then gave in by sighing, rubbing his temples, “I understand that this place can be frustrating. But the next act out of the line here won’t go unreported, got it?”  
I nodded.   
He then smiled, “You know, I’ve contacted your father and sister about any friends you have other than that sweet kid Armin. They said you had one in 8th grade and the summer before 9th, but after you drifted apart. Your sister was eager to connect you with someone, so when they get here, they’re going to ask if you’d be willing to go on a ‘blind friendship hangout.’”  
I shrugged, “No harm in it, I suppose.”  
Dr. Smith smiled again, flashing bright pearls at me, “You can go wait in the lobby for your father, and maybe go say goodbye to any patients you want to.”  
I returned his smile. A fake bright big one should convince him I’m fine, right? “Thank you for everything, Dr. Smith.”   
I stood up, turning to leave but I wasn’t fast enough as he added, “Don’t forget to apologize to Levi.”  
I almost stopped, but convinced myself to keep walking, right out of that eyebrowed-witless psychiatrist's office. But as soon as I shut the door behind me, I collapsed, fists tight and knuckles white. Damn it. Do I have to apologize to that asslicker? Levi wouldn’t care if I did or not, but if Smith got word that I hadn’t apologized, would that be reason enough to keep me locked in here even longer?  
I stood back up, brushing my pants and sighed, “Damn it.” I muttered.  
My legs were tense, my whole body would tightly like a coil, as I meandered back to my old room where Levi currently resided. The wide metal door was barely cracked, letting the faint scent of pine and hospital leak out. Levi’s familiar smell. I hesitated far longer than I’d like to admit, but I finally brought up my courage as I pushed open the door and strode by Levi’s bedside.  
A new book was in Levi’s grasps, one I hadn’t seen before. His grip tightened as he glanced towards my looming figure. He flicked a page a bit too sharply, his knuckles turning white from his now tight clutch on the thick novel.  
He was just as uncomfortable with me, as I was with him.   
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, unsure of how to play this. “I, ah…”  
“Erwin asked you to apologize, huh?” he eyed me, quicksilver eyes sharp and bored.  
I froze, then sighed, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly, “Yeah.”  
Levi nodded, “I thought as much. You’re too stubborn and prideful to apologize on your own accord.”  
I frowned. Hadn’t Mikasa implied something when I had first woken up… ?  
“Anyway,” he continued, waving his hand as he stared a bit too intensely at his book,“Whatever. Just go already.”  
“Okay, okay,” I said, turning to leave, “Er, see you around?”  
Levi smirked wryly but his eyes remained just as hard, “Unless you plan on coming back here, I won’t be seeing you, Eren.”  
My name on his lips made me shiver, something about him saying my name put me off and I stuttered a farewell as I hurried away, out of the room, out of the hall, and back into the receptionist’s area.  
My father and Mikasa awaited there.  
“Eren!” Mikasa practically screamed, grinning with giddy, “Finally!”  
I smiled, her infectious enthusiasm spreading to me, “Yup.”  
The ride home wasn’t the quiet I had been hoping for after the tiring incident with Levi, but it was comforting with Mikasa’s caring and protective atmosphere, plus the words that spilled from her mouth so easily. Grisha, my father, stayed silent the whole way.  
“Guess what?” Mikasa smiled.  
“What?” I asked, yawning from the road trip.  
“Well, the doctor said he’d already discussed it with you, but we set up you to hang out with a friend!”  
“Yeah,” I nodded, “But shouldn’t there a reason we stopped hanging out?”  
Mikasa shrugged, “Not really, you guys just drifted apart. But you guys are sure to become fast friends again, you guys were pretty chummy in 8th grade.”  
I only frowned at her words.  
It was only as we took a sharp turn into a neighborhood that I finally understood why Mikasa had insisted on me coming home soon. The houses were overwhelming structures. With two-story houses made of sturdy red and brown brick, and wide looming porches. Lawns far too green and gardens that bloomed even in the late spring. They were the seed of perfect American rich lifestyle. They were something far too unfamiliar.  
My father drove into the garage of what had to be one of the nicest designed houses in the neighborhood. It made me cringe as we entered the house, everything crisp, spotless, and clean. Everything that I didn’t remember. And to think that the old me had it tough, no, this was an amazing lifestyle.   
So why had past-me decided to kill myself?  
That’s the question that raced through my brain over and over as I set my bag down by the doorway. I took in the living room that laid out before me, unscathed dark wooden floors, a white plush of couch contrasting the floor and dark ceiling. A large flat screen mounted across from the couches, and other things decorating the large room; shelves, seats, a few small coffee tables. Yet all were far too fancy for a simple house.  
But then again, this was a rich successful doctor’s house.   
“Your room,” Mikasa said quietly, breaking me away from my thoughts, “Down the hallway, first one on the left. It’s across from mine.”  
I nodded as I began trotting to my mystery room. A room that I had no idea what it looked like.  
“Don’t forget,” she called as I began to turn the doorknob, “Tomorrow at 2 p.m. You meet Mike.”  
“Got it.”  
Mike, my old pal in 8th grade, my once best friend. A man who I knew nothing of, and could probably find a way to offend with the flick of my wrist with all the damn luck that I head on me. I sighed, opening the door and striding into my room, only knowing that meeting a mystery man on some sort of “blind date” who claimed to be an old friend wasn’t smart.  
This was going to be a prelude to disaster. I was certain.


	8. As If Trying to Hide Their Pasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short ik, but I haven't given you anything in nearly a month! Total apologies doodes. Also, anyone else know how to italicize stuff on here? I write on google docs then copy and paste it on this format so???? Please if anyone knows I will marry you and give you my firstborn. I'm like that desperate. (its needed for a future stEaMy chApTeR memory for utmost strongest effects.)

So… maybe it wasn’t exactly a prelude to disaster as I had expected. I mean, sure, Mikasa head insisted on dropping me off at the coffee shop we were meeting, as if she were a mother dropping her son off at his first date.  
Then again, she was dropping me off at my first known “friend date” because, you know, a certain someone doesn’t remember anything about their past life.  
And that certain someone’s stomach flipped far too many times than he’d like to admit. My whole body trembled ever-so slightly, a mix of anxiety, fear, and curiosity struck at me, playing me out like an old guitar ready to break a string. I hated my uncertainty and my fear, but it was the only thing that kept me from flat out passing out. Yes, I was that scared of meeting someone new. It was ridiculous, I know.  
I must’ve waited fifteen minutes in the leather booth, fingers grazing and tapping nervously against the tableside, leg bouncing, watching each new customer enter. None looked like the man that Mikasa had described. She’d stated that he was tall, muscly, and blonde. A far too broad description for my liking, but nobody met his standards within those fifteen minutes.  
A stumpy red-haired fellow, a tall willowy woman, a fat dark-haired man. No muscular blonde taller than me though. I was almost certain that maybe we’d gotten the time mixed up, or the coffeehouse, or maybe Mikasa had been play some stupid little joke.  
I was just about to make my leave when I heard the jingle of the bell across the top of the glass door. I didn’t even glance up, expecting another unlikely suspect.   
It was his scent that stopped me from standing and leaving. The scent that curled and writhed into my nose. It was… a hint of alcohol and burnt cigarettes with a bearing of lemongrass. Lemongrass… I closed my eyes, inhaling the sharp scent. Something grazed right past my closed eyes. Memories. Memories that fluttered away far too quickly, too much like a flash of a cardinal’s plumage as it raced away along a dark forest.   
The only thing I could catch was a scent of campfire mixed with cigarette smoke, and the addictive aroma of lemongrass.   
“Lemongrass!” I hadn’t realized I’d blurted it out before a rumbling chuckle came from my right.   
“Still can’t keep your quick tongue to yourself, huh?”  
I froze, then turned towards the voice, eyes wide.  
The man was taller than me. And that’s saying something. He was broad-shouldered, and notably muscled, his muscles practically bleeded through his dark shirt, a bit too tight in my opinion. My eyes lingered on his taut muscles before pulling myself up to glance at his face. Blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail that barely fell to the base of his neck, a few days worth of scruff covered his cheeks and upper lip. Although, the most striking feature must’ve been his eyes, dark blue radiating like the husky ocean on a shadowed day. And his eyes shined brightly.  
He grinned down at me, holding out a meaty hand, “Mike. Mike Zacharias. Suppose you don’t remember me though, huh?”  
I gave out my slender hand, shaking his calloused one. I nodded, cheeks flushed, “Uh… sorry.”  
He gave another kind smile, “All is fine. It’s not like it’s your fault you forgot, right?”   
I nodded, “But still…” I trailed off, not sure how I apologize for forgetting my past.  
He scooted in on the opposite side of the booth.   
“Eren Yeager,” his low voice purred, drawing out my name, as he situated himself, “I’ve been worried.”  
“Huh?” I glanced back up and saw him turn his head as he called for a menu from a server. She handed him two, and scurried off to fulfill other duties. He ducked his head further into the menu, and away from my quizzical glances, pointedly ignoring me.  
What did he mean ‘I’ve been worried?’  
I frowned, drawing my eyebrows together. Okayyyy… this has officially started off awkward.   
“So,” I prompted, “Menu?”  
“Oh!” I caught the blush on his cheeks as he handed me the cafe’s menu. His bright eyes glanced up at me, and his cheeks darkened crimson.  
I pulled up menu to hide the satisfied smile I hide. He was kinda cute.  
I scanned the menu. It was surprising how many items the small cafe offered for how small it was, but it held a homely, comfortable atmosphere. I eyed the long list of drinks through the menu, and decided to pick something at random…  
“A caramel macchiato?”  
I startled a bit at Mike’s sudden deep voice, “Yeah, that’s what I was planning to get…”  
He smiled wistfully, “You used to get that all the time…”  
I fidgeted, glancing to my left, at the window that stared out into a wild, busy street.  
“I’m sorry, Eren, did I make you uncomfortable?” he stared at me, obviously concerned.  
I jumped. My name on his lips felt strangely right. “N-no,” I stuttered, “I’m just not used to everyone talking about my past still…”  
“Oh…”   
A flash of emotion touched his face. Was that… guilt? I frowned, pressing him, “So, what was Eren Yeager of 8th and 9th grade like?”  
He turned, his eyes looking everywhere but at me, “You see…”  
“Ready to order?” The waitress stood there expectantly, and I innerly cursed her for interrupting as soon as I was about to learn something about my past.  
Mike seemed relieved and ordered a black coffee as I ordered my macchiato. She took our orders and left, giving Mike excuse to veer us away from the past and talk about the present. His sudden disinterest in the past was suspiciously odd in my opinion, but there was no way to pull back to talking of the past without it making it awkward. So, I went along with his idle talk of today. He seemed nervous to keep the conversation going so he asked questions the speed of light, almost without thinking.  
“Have you reconnected with anyone else, yet?” he blurted.  
I thought for a moment as the memory of a pissy Levi hovered over me. I hesitated, “Actually, possible.”  
He glanced up, his eyes flashed darkly, “Huh? Who?”  
“I’m not sure, but he seems familiar,” I admitted.  
“Name?” Mike prompted.  
“Levi Ackerman. Have you heard of him ever?” I watched Mike carefully.  
As soon as I spoke his name Mike glared angrily at me, close to a second before smoothing his face from making any expression. His words were tight as he spoke, “Haven’t heard of him.”  
I narrowed my eyes at him, he glanced away as sweat settled on his neck.  
Mike decisively steered the rest of the conversation away from talk of Levi or anything that dealt with my past. Something that I knew certain of as the waitress arrived back with our drinks; Mike and Levi were connected, both gave off the chillingly familiar auras.   
And they both acted suspiciously, as if trying to hide their pasts. And who was involved in their pasts.


	9. The Smirk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike... iS hE wHo He sEeMs tO bE? Tune in for further chapters to delve deeper into this smexy fic!!!  
> OkAy--- So, I wrote this quick, short chapter to only ask this question in the notes. (And of course to further along the story, duh)  
> But would anyone read a Hamilton fic if I wrote one??? Like I really want to write a Hamilton fic but idk if anyone would even read it??? I would also most definitely make it gAy (if anyone even read it) Cuz like, are Hamilton fics popular? Are you guys into musical???? I would literally write a fic for the following musicals; Be More Chill, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, etc.  
> Comment pls your opinions!!! (Also any fic ideas or fandoms you want written I will consider!!!)

“Do you want to go anywhere else?” Mike asked as we both stood up from the cafe’s booth. Over an hour of chatter had passed between us. Over an hour of us exchanging useless pleasantries. It was hard for me to resist interrogating him mercilessly on my past, but I held back. It was barely afternoon when I glanced at a watch I had snatched from my room. Mikasa was planning to pick me up at 3 PM in front of the coffee shop, giving us three hours to burn.  
  
“Actually,” I said, glancing up at him, “I do.”  
  
He looked at me expectantly.  
  
I glanced back at my hands nervously, “Is there a movie theatre nearby? I wouldn’t mind watching a movie.”  
  
He seemed shocked by the idea, “What?”  
  
“Yeah,” I stared up at him sharply, “Got a problem?”  
  
He eyed me for what seemed like an eternity for breaking out into deep set laughter, “Damn, Eren. You’re not as timid as you look now, eh? You’ve definitely changed for the better, you used to be so...” he trailed off.  
  
“I used to be so…?” I prompted fiercely.  
  
“Nothing,” he murmured.  
  
“Dammit!” I growled, turning to him, “Just tell me about everything already!”  
  
The low murmur of conversation flowing through the shop cut off, a heavy wave of silence washed the room. All eyes peered at our quarrel, the waitress who had served us glowered at us, eyes sharp.  
  
She trotted over to us purposefully, hands full of dishes. She seemed far less approachable then when she’d taken our order, “Boys,” She also seemed quite older by the atmosphere now then what she had first appeared as, “take your lovers spat outside.”  
  
I stood there shocked at her words, a fierce blush creeping into my cheeks as snickers of customers echoed back at me. A hand grasped my wrist tightly and pulled me outside and into an alleyway. Mike’s rough hand.  
  
I snapped myself out of my daze, turning to Mike accusingly, “Why the hell do you keep ignoring my questions, huh?! Your fucking pissing me off, asshole!” I was angry. At myself, at Mike, at Mr.-I’m-So-Aloof-Levi. I was angry at how some pissy God, or spaghetti monster, or whoever the hell controls the universe, had decided to play a trick by bestowing amnesia and an attempted suicide on me.  
  
Mike sighed. A tired one, far too weary-sounding for someone who was barely out of highschool, “I’m sorry, Eren.”  
  
He purred my name in such a way it sent shivers down my spine.  
  
Mike swept his hand through his hair, “How do I explain this? Look. Me and you… we were really close friends in 8th grade and the beginning of 9th, one day you decidedly ignored me. I tried to get you to explain but you just turned me away and shouted and…”  
  
“So…”  
  
He turned away, “It was a few months into 9th grade when the rumors began. Rumors that claimed you were… gay.”  
  
My gut churned, because, in probability, I was still and most definitely gay right now.  
  
“There was even proof of the rumor… pictures of some mystery guy and you kissing… Throughout high school, you were tormented and bullied so much. And you wouldn’t let me help no matter what.” He shook his head, “It’s my fault…”  
  
Something roiled in my gut uneasily, a sense to not let down my guard, to stay strong and not take sympathy to Mike’s words. But at that moment understanding and pity swept through me.  
  
Of course, Mike hadn’t wanted to share his shame of not helping me through our high school career, it must’ve been painful to watch his ex-best friend fade away and not turn back to him for help. It must’ve hurt to hear that I had tried to kill myself when I hadn’t let him near me. I was too proud, even as I was getting beaten and bullied senselessly.  
  
“No, it’s not your fault,” I assured him, “It was me. I shouldn’t have been so blind and weak to let it get that far… Don’t blame yourself, Mike.”  
  
He nodded, “How can I help you now?”  
  
I smiled, a plan forming. “Help me find the guys who used to bully me.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Payback can be a bitch,” I replied simply, “Now, are we going to watch a movie or not?”  
  
Mike shrugged, “Might as well to kill time.”  
  
I strode out of the alley first, and as I glanced back I caught sight of Mike’s smirk.  
  
It wasn’t like the coy smiles or grins he had used in the cafe during our conversations. This smirk was dangerous, feral and dominant. Something that I had not pegged Mike as at all.  
  
I blinked, and Mike wasn’t smirking anymore. He bore a soft smile on his lips as he urged me forward.  
  
I must’ve read his smirk wrong, I insisted to myself.  
  
Because Mike was kind, yet had an air of confidence, and a streak of empathy. That’s how he was since the time I had met him.  
  
The smirk. I must've seen it wrong.


	10. Why Are You So Hot?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My doodes. Ya girl got the PERFECT Nico di Angelo fic from the Percy Jackson series and such. I mean, PERFECTO!!! It's of course gAY vibEs but its going to be a very tense 1st p.o.v story and its prolly gonna be pretty lonG. It's grATE. FITE ME I LOVE IT AnD AHHHHH!!! Probably gonna be next fic :P  
> Thanks for all the comments, kudos, etc., etc.  
> You guys too c00l for mE! <3

A week and a half after, I had met up with Mike on three separate occasions.   
Once for lunch after our coffee hangout, another time for a different movie, and lastly we went to an aquarium.  
All seemed kind of like… dates to me.  
And Mike was also far too sweet and smooth.  
For our first time at the cafe, he must’ve been caught off guard by my arrival, I was nearly a different person he claimed. Because on the three other “dates” he had treated me like… well, a date.  
I had learned a lot about Mike too.  
First, he was a romantic. He treated me nicely, and insisted on getting me finer things. He also bought me little things here and there, I now had a comfortable black hoodie and a leather journal, courtesy of Mike. He also did those little things like opening doors for me and pulling my seat out and letting me sit first.  
It was increasingly making me wonder if Mike was interested in me. Of course, I dismissed the idea, he was some robust, hot, sexy, muscular, sexy man. Sexy said only twice was an understatement. It was ridiculous he could see something in me; a kid who was far too skinny, had attempted suicide, and had many crisscross scars that made me wear long sleeves even in the approaching heat of summer.   
Second, he didn’t like talking about our past. And I didn’t push for much, a subtle question and gesture here and there. But he was tight lipped about that, he must’ve felt extremely guilty about not being able to help in any way. Or perhaps… I shook away my doubts, because Mike was good and kind and any doubts I had were most definitely wrong.   
Third, I was positively falling for Mike.   
Hard.   
Hard like, if Mike were the ocean, I’d be that one person on a helicopter hundreds of feet above the ocean, and jump out just to see if hitting the ocean at a high altitude would be like hitting concrete. And I would learn how hard hitting an ocean hundreds of feet in the air really is.  
It's quite obvious why I, a skinny, gay kid with little hope of regaining a normal life, would fall for some who is WAY out of my league, am I right? Still… wistful hoping at night kept me up. If you know what I mean...  
“...your sister. Ya know?”   
I shook away my thoughts. Currently laying on my bed besides Mike, I shouldn’t have dozed off, I thought guiltily. I was the one who had asked Mike over to help me discover the bullies of my old life. Surprisingly, even though he was tight lipped about our past, he took easy to helping me out about finding the bullies.   
“Say again?” I asked in an apologetic tone.  
He smiled patiently, “Your sister, doesn’t she have a senior yearbook?”  
I shrugged, “I’m not completely sure…”  
“You called?” My sister popped her head in.  
I narrowed my eyes at her accusingly, “Eavesdropping, Mikasa?”  
She shrugged, grinning, “Of course not, I wouldn’t dare, little Eren.”  
A hint of a smile split through my lips. Mikasa and I had grown increasingly close through the week and a half we had known each other. We got along easy, had similar music and movie tastes, and both disliked potatoes. She was the best and most supportive sister I could’ve asked for. Although, she tended to be a bit oblivious even as protective as she proved.   
“Nah,” she admitted, “I passed by and with your door cracked open, I heard Mike’s words. So, I grabbed my yearbook and decided to give it to you.” Her eyes darkened a bit. Perhaps her thinking of the past school year, with the high chance of me being bullied and her being completely in the dark about the foul play.   
I jumped off my oversized bed, hopping to the door, and yanking the yearbook out of her hand. I slammed the door shut so unexpectedly that Mikasa pulled back, yelping. I locked my door, grinning, “See ya, sis.”  
There was a string of curses from her and then I practically heard her eye rolling, “Whatever.” Footsteps echoed down the hall, disappearing quickly as she bounded away.  
“Mikasa was always a bit overbearing, huh?” Mike chuckled.  
“Still is.” I agreed, dropping carelessly onto my bed.   
I froze as one of my legs brushed against Mike’s. He seemed to stiffen too. We both laid there rigidly, frozen for what seemed like a dozen minutes. Then he relaxed.  
“So?” he prompted, I heard the sly grin in his voice.  
“Uh…” I mind fought for something to say, “Here.” I handed Mike the yearbook.   
He skimmed through it, staring at it menacingly. It took a few moments before Mike found the page with my picture and name. “Here’s you.”  
I stared at the picture blankly. It was… me. I’m not sure what I was expecting, maybe to look like a complete wreck like I did meth for a living or something but… what stared back at me was a replica of me now. Skinny, slight dark rings under my eyes, hesitant silver-green eyes. I was slouching, I could tell by the stoop of my shoulders. But that was the only difference in my senior photo. I also wasn’t smiling, but its not like a smile a whole awful lot now too.   
“I look the same,” I said, my voice almost drooping disappointed.  
“Yep,” Mike agreed. Why did his voice seem a bit… nervous?  
I had been staring so intensely at my old picture that I hadn’t realized my face was now only inches from Mike’s hot one. I froze. Again.   
I wish I could say I came up with something witty or romantic to say. Or maybe to pull the courage to kiss him deeply. Or to even just give him the barest hint of a brave, knowing smile. But I didn’t do any of those.   
In the heat of the moment, I panicked and...  
I blurted, “Why are you so hot?”  
Silence.  
Then he burst out into a large fit of deep and heavy laughters. His chuckles near outrageous. My cheeks turned a sharp shade of scarlet, inching down neck and to my ears so much that the fierce blush could’ve covered my whole body. I looked away, not wanting to embarrass myself further.   
Suddenly, Mike’s rough hands guided my face to look into his. My green eyes went wide and round, I was still blushing, I knew it. But I couldn’t keep my hand from finding Mike’s nape, even as my cheeks were flushed a serious red from dying embarrassment.   
“Why are you so hot, too?” his voice was purring, husky, and smoky.  
It made my skin tingle at the sound of it, like the rumble of distant thunder.  
I’m not sure when our mouths collided uneasily, but they did.   
It was a million emotions at once, skittering through my stomach and bellowing in my throat. Our kiss was overwrought and tense, made up of nervous excitement and anxiety. He prodded my mouth open with his tongue, deepening our kiss.   
It was hot, and something heavy filled my gut, traveling lower and lower…  
I gasped, pulling back.  
Our kiss broke off and my cheeks darkened crimson. I must’ve looked like a burnt tomato as I glanced at everything in my room but at Mike.  
An uneasy gust of shame tore at me. I was ashamed that I was doing this with a friend, that I was doing it at all. And it was so new to me even though I was already eighteen.   
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I guess you’re not ready.”  
“No,” I croaked, “I’m just… nervous.” That was an understatement, my gut was literally ready to explode with anxiety.  
He smiled ruefully, “Don’t rush yourself…”  
“No!” I yelped, “I-I…” And with the only way I knew how to continue, I pulled Mike’s lips to my own. It was clumsy and uncoordinated, but I was… eager too. I believe that made up for my zero skills of talent for making out. Mike pressed his lips lazily against mine. He pulled himself onto of me, breaking our kiss to pull up and stare at me, eyes thick with passion. He straddled me as I laid their staring up at him.  
He looked me up from head to toe, and then spotted the bulge between my legs. An obvious thing pointing out, his hand moved to relieve the pain building up. A sudden flash of memory sought to clutch me before his hand reached my boner.

‘Are you getting hard?’

Levi’s words. Words that had made me fear if I really was or not at the time…   
“No,” I whispered.  
Mike glanced up at me, the lust softening, “Do you want to stop?”  
I nodded, cheeks hot and burning shamefully.  
He pulled off of me, smiling his rueful smile, “It’s okay, Eren. It’s okay.”  
I sat up on the side of the bed, turning away from him. My words were soft, “I’m sorry.”  
He put a hand on my shoulder, “It’s okay. I’m just gonna head out, okay? I’ll call you to meet up next time.”  
And with that, he disappeared.  
I let my face fall to my hands, degrading tears slipped down my cheeks. I grinded my teeth. What was that?  
“Fuck.”


	11. Scared. Shitless.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys-  
> I have a Nico di Angelo fic in the making, I literally made the FIRST CHAPTER FREAKING TEN PAGES LONG IN SMALL FONT (I ended up sectioning it off into four chapters lol) ANyway, I've used like four hours to write that? (Most of it was reading Greek mythology, making notes, research, etc) I'm literally putting a lot of thought into it, like more so than this fic. This fic I'm definitely gonna finish, but that one is my new baby, and--  
> I'm thinking of beginning to post it soon? Maybe after I finish like ten chapters so I actually post it weekly and my fans don't have to wait a month when i suddenly get into my depressive moods/phases??? PLease comment opinions guys, I rlly need to know if it'll kick off or not???? Do you guys even like Percy Jackson!? UGH! Doodes, just- pls.  
> Also, I've lost like five lbs. suddenly??????? tf??????

Dinner that night, after my and Mike’s… uh, intimacy, was awkward.  
It was a gathering of myself, Mikasa, and Mr. Professional-Grisha-Dad. Mika and I were fine, we laughed and we joked and we were warming up to each other easily. The problem was… Grisha.  
Of course, he wasn’t an actual problem. He wasn’t rude or mean or anything, he made our dinner -which was delicious- and he did the laundry and did most of the household chores. He just didn’t fit the stereotypical father figure.  
Even if I had tried to get close, it was too hard. He was professional, cold, and eyed his children as if we were his patients at the hospital (which I was, kind of?).  
Anyway, as I was saying, dinner was most definitely awkward.  
Mikasa sat silently, so did I, and Grisha also said nothing.  
Silence gnawed at us like a pack of wolves.  
“So, uh,” Mikasa fumbled to keep the silence at bay, “I see you haven’t been smoking as much. Is work getting better?”  
“Not really,” he said decisively, “It’s just seeing Eren as new and remade as he is wants me to turn off my bad habits.”  
“Oh, that’s, um… Good and inspiring!” Mikasa said a little to forcefully with fake enthusiasm.  
With still more than half a plate of food I asked softly, “May I be excused?”  
Grisha gave a curt nod.  
I padded to the kitchen, wiped the remaining food off my plate, and peeked my head back into the dining room, “I’m going to sleep!” I called and then strode into my bedroom. I tucked a pillow under my sheets and covers.  
And dug into my closet, pulling out a dark hoodie that I identified as the hoodie Mike head given me. I tucked the money that Grisha had given me as “monthly allowance” for literally doing nothing but living here into a nearly brand new wallet. It was nearly three hundred dollars and I found it extremely ridiculous but I had taken it anyway.  
I smiled darkly. I had no intention of going to bed or sleeping, I was going out to get this stupid ass image of lusty Mike out of my head. I mean, we weren’t dating, and I hated the fact that there was a possibility that he was just using me for sex, even if that was less than a 1% chance, it scared me. We were friends, and I needed him more to help me find who had bullied me and pushed me into suicide, more than I needed a sex buddy.  
So I slipped open my window, and snuck outside. I called an Uber a block away and had him drop me off twenty minutes later a block away from the gay bar I had looked up. The gay bar where I was going to get picked up and get laid at to forget the silly little crush on Mike. Mike who probably had only kiss me out of pity. Mike who-  
Two pairs of hands roughly covered my mouth and swung my thin form into an alleyway. A metallic click, and something heavy and cold hit the side of my head. My eyes widened and I heard a rough voice growl, “Give me everything you have or I’ll blow your fucking brains out.”  
It was like watching some dramatic superhero TV show where the victim gets mugged but the superhero suddenly comes out of nowhere and saves the day. But there was no superhero and all there was were threats, the thugs, and myself who was ready to shit myself and pass out.  
I didn’t have the desire to kick the guys in the balls in run off, or scream for help, or even try to talk my way out. I didn’t have a level head, and I wasn’t some cunning guy with a charming tongue. I was a deer stuck in headlights. I was scared. Shitless.  
So, when he asked for my money. I froze, and I didn’t throw my money into the alleyway and run off. I just couldn’t move as the sweat tickled the back of my neck and my breathing became deep pants. The motions of seeing my blood splay thick against the walls kept me from moving even an inch.  
“Hey…” another rougher voice cut in, “Ain’t this the guy from high school that boss kept in line? What was ‘is name?”  
“Thought he kill ‘imself?”  
“Nah,” he replied, sneering, “Tried but failed even at that!” He thought for a moment before supplying my name, “Eren! That was ‘im!”  
I flinched.  
` “Aye, it is him!” the rough-voiced one observed my reaction.  
The one closest smiled at me, white pearls shining even through the dark evening. We stood in an alleyway between a bar and some late night cafe which was still open, though nearly empty. The alleyway didn’t catch any of the faint lights from either shops.  
His smile still seemed off, but maybe that was just what I thought through my foggy mind, “L-let me go.” I finally managed to squeak.  
He smirked, “Give us your money”  
The farther one roughly shoved me against the brick alley wall, he leaned down, his hands clutched my shoulders far too tightly.  
It caught me off guard.  
Realization pushed through me as I finally processed the situation. These two must be some goons from the head bully back in high school. They were my ticket to finding the bully that had made my try to kill myself. And it pissed me off.  
“Who’s ‘Boss?’” I demanded.  
They both glanced at each other, then behind them into depths of the alleyway, uncertainty flickering through their faces.  
“Oh, Eren,” a deep unfamiliar voice called, “You can be so thick-headed sometimes.”  
I turned to catch a glimpse of the figure hidden in the darkest shadows of the alleyway but one of the goons pummeled me and sparks danced in my vision.  
Everything faded away.


	12. TITAN'S TITS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING  
> Also, doodes, check out my Nico di Angelo fic plsssss  
> Oh yeah, I'm beginning a My Hero Academia fic? Anyone willing to read if I post it????  
> (Sorry for not posting in like a month guysssss)

I awoke in the alleyway. Surprisingly, I still had everything I owned, my phone, even the large sum of cash from Grisha and the nice jacket from Mike.  
I checked my phone. I had been out for five hours, and luckily no one had mugged me since then. It was 12 AM, and I was ready to get drunk shitless and have sex. I was ready to let myself go.  
This is why I didn’t head home. But if I had known who I was going to end up with that night I’d have prayed to the heavens and become a monk twice over. I would’ve even willingly become a nun if it gave me the ability to undo who did me that night.  
I stumbled from the alleyway and walked the remaining way to the gay bar. It was lit up by a pink neon sign that screamed gay. How cliche, I thought, grinning wildly. The sigh read “TITAN’S TITS” which I found a little outrageous but…  
“You aren’t some Christian pastor who’s come to rant to me about my sins, huh?”  
I jumped back, my eyes jumped down to the club door to see the bouncer staring up at me.  
“Hm?” he prodded.  
I shook my head, “Actually… I was wondering…”  
He peered closer at me through the dark and grinned, “Ah, new to gay bars, kid? You seem a little nervous.”  
He must’ve noted how young I looked, “U-uh, yeah kind of. Hey, I just want to get laid so…?” I made some vague motion to indicate I wanted to enter.  
The large bouncer straightened himself, looking a bit more professional, muscles bulging through his tight dark t-shirt although a knowing smirk crossed his face. He vaguely reminded me of Mike but I immediately cut that thought away. “ID?”  
I froze. I hadn’t thought this detail out, I’d just assumed that maybe… My face when white, “Uh…”  
The guy grinned, and waved me on, “Just go in, I’ll let your pretty face pass, kid.” As I skittered past, he leaned towards me, eyes a bit too wild, “But, hey, promise me if no guy picks you up, you’ll come back to me and we can have some fun at the end of my shift, eh?”  
My face burned as I nodded and darted into the club, I could hear his deep rumbling laughter follow. He muttered something along the lines of “I love messing with kids.”  
The club was lit up with neon lights along the walls that blinked ecstatically, switching colors every so often. A bar was set in the belly of the club alongside a wall and the dance floor was crowded every which way. I immediately slipped to the bar, passing the large amount of men grinding against men and women grinding against women. A thick scent of alcohol and sweat mingled in the air with a thinner scent of cranberry sidling through the club. The whole scene was nearly intoxicating enough for me.  
I took a seat, and waited. I looked average enough for a one night stand, right? Just to be certain that I looked vulnerable enough for quick sex I ordered a drink at random. As I waited, more than a few men approached me and offered drinks that I quickly took, but in the end, they all left me alone.  
“What the hell?” I knew I was more than tipsy as I slammed the glass down, frustrated. “Why is no guy interested in having sex with me!?”  
The barkeep snorted and I glared at her. She was short, petite. Blonde hair fastened in a tight braid and a barkeeper outfit of purple, black, and white hugged against her. The outfit looked fancy for a simple club.  
She smirked, “Well, that’s because the Raven’s got an eye on you.”  
“W-who?” my head swirled, my vision tilting uneasily.  
“The Raven. Guy comes here every night, ignores anyone’s flirting attempts, drinks a drink, and leaves. Plenty of guys have tried to get with him, but he tells ‘em off. Anyone smart enough will know not to take his first interest in this club: aka you.”  
“Huh?”  
She glanced to the side, “Here he comes.” With that she turned and began sifting through orders.  
I turned in my chair and the blurred form before him huffed, clicking his tongue at me.  
“You’re a mess,” his voice was deep… familiar.  
“Let’s have sex!” I blurted.  
He snickered and took my arm and pulled me away from the bar, and away from the club.  
I was in a car.  
Then I was being pulled out of it.  
And pushed up stairs.  
Finally pulled into an apartment.  
And slung onto a bed gently.  
It was all a blur.  
The man leaned over me, “Just go to sleep, kid.”  
“S-sex,” I insisted, weakly trying to wrestle my way out of bed.  
He sighed and pushed me back onto the bed and left the room.  
I frowned, his black hair and deep voice… why did they seems so familiar?  
I blinked sleepily and before I knew it, I had passed out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke in an unfamiliar setting. My chest burned and my vision blurred, I was still more than half drunk after a couple of hours. I pulled myself out of the bed, pushing back the dark blanket and stumbling to the door. The room was neat, remarkably so. Clean and organized dashingly. The aesthetic was also surprising too, rustic with dark neutral colors and a grey wall.  
My vision swung uneasily and as I stumbled into what seemed to be the living room I spotted the short man with dark hair again. I barely caught sight of the multiple bottles of liquor flung on his coffee table. He smiled drunkenly and stumbled to his feet.  
“Ah… Eren, I’ve missed y-you...” he hiccuped.  
“S-sex?” I murmured as he reached me.  
His hand immediately flew in between my crotch, and I instinctively moaned and pressed my mouth against his lips. We both stumbled slowly back to his room. Before we even reached the bed, all of our clothes had been torn off.  
Pleasure and pain mingled through me as he hovered above me. The moment felt faint, foggy and distant. I couldn’t exactly see what he was doing with my fucked-up and highly intoxicated self. But I could feel every chilling touch and heart racing movement. I could feel him...  
And it was hot.  
It wasn’t long that I found myself passing out on the bed beside the man from the intense passion of that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (lowkey loooking at the chapter title index and I'm crying, if someone hadn't read my story and didn't understand that the ch. titles were lines from the story I'm pretty sure they'd be.... ???? Idk, guys but lmao)


	13. "Oh my god, I'm a bottom."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its short but I haven't posted in a while so appreciate this pls  
> Also, I have a crUsH and nO  
> rip me

It was finally morning and I awoke before the guy to my right, who I had a one night stand with.

I literally screamed, jumping five feet out of the bed and falling to the wooden floor, naked as the day I was born.

Mr. Stupid-ass-annoying-and-rude-as-fuck Levi Ackerman barely stirred from my startling scream of horror. 

“Oh my god, I had sex with Levi.” I whispered, horrified.

I glanced down realizing how weak my legs were, “Oh my god, I’m a bottom.”

I turned over to see a Mr. Levi Ackerman beginning to stir, “Oh my god, he’s waking up.”

I began sneaking towards the door, impossible thoughts stirring in my head, within seconds.

How could I have sex with that asshole? Wasn’t he still in that mental institution? How and WHY was he out?

My mind spun and the door creaked loudly as I swung it open. I winced. Perhaps sneaking through Levi’s unknown apartment, naked, wasn’t the best idea. But…

“E-Eren?” he spluttered, as he pushed himself out of his bed and rubbed his eyes intensely. He glanced to the side of the bed where I had been laying, obviously rumpled from my body sleeping there. His eyes widened, “Shit.”

I tucked out the door, sprinting out of his room and pulling on the front door frantically. It was locked. Dammit. Why was there so many deadlocks and bolts? Was he really this paranoid? Honestly-

A hand reached out tentatively and touched my shoulder. I yelped, jumping back, turning and cover myself as best as I could. Cheeks flushed bright crimson as Levi stared at me. Also, quite fully nude. And obviously uncaring if I saw anything of his.

I averted my eyes, “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know… I don’t quite remember… uh, I-”

“It’s my fault,” he stated, his usually cool and collected demeanor gone. He looked worn, tired, he settled himself on a dark leather sofa in the living room, and patted for me to sit, “Let me explain it. Everything.”

“W-what?” I didn’t dare move. 

He sighed, “I was in college at the time, when we met. You had quite obviously gotten beat up, but kept denying it. You had the stupidest smile on when I offered to take you to a convenience store to get you cleaned up.”

I froze. W-what?

Levi seemed utterly different from the stern and collected guy I knew him from. He wasn’t hardeyed at the moment, wasn’t wearing his firm scowl, he was smirking. So slightly, soft and gentle. He was wearing a completely new face. An emotion crossed his face that seemed like happiness and nostalgia. 

“Levi, we…. We knew each other before my accident? We….”

He looked at his hands, his voice was soft, barely an audible whisper, “No. It was more than that. We were… a couple.”

It hit me like a boulder. I squeezed my eyes shut. So there was a reason why I was attracted to Levi in the first place, it was simply the part that I was gay. It was the fact that we had been a couple. 

I sighed. I wanted to know my past. No. I needed to know my past. So I moved to the couch and sat. I wasn’t cozied up to Levi, just because he claimed we were past lovers didn’t mean I was going to get all lovey dovey with him but… it did make me less self-conscious. 

About everything.

It means he knew but all of the nasty tangled scars along my arms and thighs. He knew about everything. And he’d probably seen me naked before. So I didn’t mind sitting their cross-legged as he began his story. 

He rubbed his temples, “It all began…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah  
> did I just do the asshole writer thing where I leave it on a cliffhanger?...
> 
> yup.


	14. MEMORY: Part one: 1 YEAR AGO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIRD PERSON MEMORY FLASHBACK  
> oof  
> Really wanted to change perspective fora few chapters~~  
> More memories and interludes to come!

_It was hot._

_Hot like hell._

_Hot enough that Levi regretted his decision of taking courses over the summer. And it was only May. It wasn’t even fucking summer but it was hotter than a devil’s den. It really pissed Levi off. A lot._

_He sighed as his dark hair clung to his temples. Maybe he should just buzz it all off? Levi scoffed. Yeah, that’d be a hot sight to see._

_Hot. His shoes burned as he hit the pavement, shedding his eyes from the sun’s beating heat. Yeah, he concluded, he was going to have to stock up on iced coffee and mini portable fans. He glanced down at the backs of his hands, pale and white. He would also have to buy lots and lots of sunscreen._

_He turned another corner alongside the avenue of the college town, heading home. He yawned, and glanced wearily around. He just happened to eye an alleyway to his left._

_Ah, fuck._

_Inside that alleyway was a kid. He must’ve still been in high school. His shoulders were perched against a wall, his head hung low as his legs were splayed before him._

_What the hell?_

_Levi turned to leave. This was none of his business. Obviously the kid had done something to provoke someone or had maybe ripped off a dealer? The kid did look kinda shady._

_So it really was none of his business…_

_A moan resounded from the alleyway. One of pain. Ah, shit. He really couldn’t leave a kid in pain in some suspicious alleyway._

_As Levi hurried closer to the teenager, he noticed his clothes and frowned. This toothpick of a kid was wearing a grey jacket and jeans._

_In this heat? Levi thought incredulously._

_He merely shook his head and crouched down and shook the teenager a little, “Hey, kid.”_

_The teenager’s eyes flew open alarmingly quick. His eyes widened and a hand flew to his mouth._

_Ah, hell. Levi guess he did look kinda intimidating. Although he was short, his stature was built and his dark undercut and matching stoic eyes gave off guard vibes. So as to seem less intimidating, Levi asked, “You, uh, you okay?”_

_The kid hesitated, then nodded, “Uh. F-for the most part. Mostly j-just bruises and scrapes and… stuff.”_

_Levi scratched the back of his neck, his face blank. What now?_

_“Want… help up, kid?” he offered._

_The kid eyes widened in surprise. “Uh, sure!”_

_Levi reached down and hauled the kid up- what the hell? He must’ve weighed less than how he actually looked and that was saying something. How much did he weigh? Less than 130 lbs? What the shit?_

_It was also quite noticeable that the kid towered over Levi._

_Levi turned, “We should take you to the convenience store and get some supplies to at least clean you up. C’mon.”_

_“Uh, hey. You’re not a creep, r-right?” the kid stuttered._

_Levi pivoted to face the high schooler, “What the fuck? I just helped you, kid. Calm down and stop stuttering.” Levi sighed again and scratched the back of his neck, “What a drag. Look, kid, name’s Levi Ackerman. I’m a college student majoring in art and kicking ass. Happy?”_

_“Uh, yeah… sure. My name’s Eren Yeager.”_

_Levi grabbed the kid’s hand and pulled him after him, “Now c’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up.”_

_Levi turned to eye the kid- Eren._

_He merely raised an eye at the kid as he blushed and was pulled along. He gave a smirk to Eren, the only other expression than his cold stoic one, “Never had someone as hot as me hold your hand?”_

_Eren blushed further. His red cheeks highlighted his eyes. They were shining in the sunlight. Green like Christmas. Blue like the ocean. Huh, Levi remarked, the kid had ocean eyes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also wanted to note~!
> 
> IM AN ASSHOLE  
> Sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger for like over two months??? JEEZZjflaekjfaekljf  
> Its springbreak (almost over tho **:(** rip)  
>  Sorry for such long breaks with my stories  
> Will try to update my other stories too before the end of the weekend!  
> -  
> Did anyone else catch that subtle Naruto reference? Oof, meh boi Shikamaru


	15. INTERLUDE ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~short! interlude between memories~  
> Also!  
> Shameless self promo: READ MY OTHER FICS ON AO3! Such as:  
> My Nico Di Angelo life story fic  
> The Boruto Next Gen but its My Hero Academia Next Generation  
> And my other Attack on Titan that is edgy as heckle heck and I should probably update tbh  
> ~  
> Thanks!

I stared at Levi blankly. That was an awfully… shoujo manga-ish first impression encounter.

I leaned forward, “So how’d we contact each other again? If it was a one time deal?”

Levi barked a chuckle, “Well… you were so grateful you ended up giving me your phone number? And as a college student, I kinda just went with it. You seemed kinda lonely too. So… well, we ended up texting a lot.”

“Huh,” I frowned. Was I really that naive?

“And then… I was stupid and asked to meet in person. That’s when I met him.”

“Him?” I cocked my head.

“The guy who was bullying you. I never could really stop him. He used so many underhand tactics too… It was a huge mess.”

My eyes widened. This was what I needed! The key to figuring out my main bully.

I nodded eagerly, “Go on…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many fics started out/ideas and honestly first I need finish this so this story is more than half way done!!!  
> I will probably half this wrapped up before May???  
> Maybe??  
> At least before summer so !!


	16. MEMORY: Part two: 11 MONTHS AGO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another memory, 11 months into the past, insert Levi and Eren !!  
> __  
> Bruh, this chapter is nearly 2,000 words, be proud that this is longer than normal  
> I actually tried uwwu

_It was even more insufferably hot._

_It was only the beginning of June too. God, why was it always so hot?_

_Levi sighed, fanning himself with the pages of the textbook in front of him on the library table. He had an upcoming quiz and the library’s air conditioner decided to be a little shit and break down now?_

_Bing!_

_Levi pulled his phone out of the pocket of his shorts and eyed the message._

**Eren [10:31 AM]**  
Hey! What’s up, doode?

____

_Levi snickered. Eren gave off this whole other vibe when he texted, kinda like a chill guy who was probably high on weed._

**Levi [10:31 AM]**  
Studying for some shitty quiz in a library with its dumbass air conditioner broken.  
You? 

********

**Eren [10:32 AM]**  
Bored.  
Like really freaking bored.  
I swear, this summer is booooooring. 

_Levi grinned and before he could stop himself, he naturally texted:_

**Levi [10:33 AM]**  
How about we go meet up? 

_Levi froze, realizing he’d asked to meet up with a goddamn high schooler. An underage minor who he’d only been texting off and on for a month. He probably thought Levi was a creep for asking. He’d probably outright deny Levi’s offer-_

_Bing!_

_Levi hesitantly glanced down at his phone and the message that played across it._

**Eren [10:35 AM]**  
Definitely, duude!  
When ? 

_Unconsciously, Levi grinned._

_A date?_

_He shook his head, immediately shooting the idea down. Of course it wasn’t a date, I mean, Eren’s still in highschool._

**Levi [10:38 AM]**  
This afternoon?  
Let’s meet up at Maria Cafe? 

**Eren [10:38 AM]**  
y e s  
Coffee for dayzzz 

**Levi [10:39 AM]**  
See you then. 

_“Who are you texting, Levi?”_

_Levi must have pissed himself and skyrocketed three feet out of his chair. He looked up at Oluo, a fellow college major, glancing at him from across the table. He raised a suspicious eyebrow._

_Levi shook his head, returning to his usual stoic expression. “Nothing that concerns you,” he muttered._

_Oluo leaned towards Levi, eyes narrowed, then grinned, “I can’t believe it.”_

_Levi frowned, “What?”_

_“So why ya smiling at your phone? Got a girlfriend? WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME LEVI!?”_

_“Would you keep your voice down!” he growled._

_Oluo jumped up, forgetting he was in a library, and practically hollered, “Oh my god! You’re not denying it! Who is it!?”_

_Nearly half of the college students, most with eyebags and coffee close by, turned to Oluo and glared accusingly. Some even shushing him._

_Oluo sat back down and leaned forward again. His eyes bright as he repeated in a loud whisper, “Who is it?”_

_Levi sighed, rubbing his temples, “Look. It’s just a high schooler I helped out a few weeks ago. We simply exchanged numbers.”_

_Oluo grinned and shouted, “Woah, Levi, didn’t know you liked them young!”_

_Before Levi could react, Oluo jumped out of the chair and darted away, the librarian following and escorting him out after so many disturbances, leaving Levi to fume to himself. Levi narrowed his eyes at Oluo and whisper-shouted, “That’s it! I’m not buying you anymore Chipotle!”_

_Oluo turned again, looking horrified as the librarian pushed him out the door and slammed it shut on his face._

_Levi shook his head, a small smile forming as he realized he had less than three hours to meet with Eren. Whatever. He should probably start getting ready anymore. He collected his books, and hurried out of the library, heading toh is apartment to find the right outfit for the not-date._

_{----------}_

_Levi had decided on simple cargo shorts and a striped t-shirt. A casual pick of clothing. Eren didn’t expect him to dress up… right? Levi shook the thought away. Of course, he was dressed appropriately, in a nice casual fashion._

_Unfortunately, in his nervous haste, Levi had ended up twenty minutes early._

_Time seemed to move agonizingly slow. He waited for what seemed to take forever and he must've checked his watch impatiently at least ten times._

_On his tenth check, he realized it was 12:11 PM. Was the kid running a little late or was he just going the route of ‘fashionably late’? Levi frowned._

_Another ten minutes passed, and Levi began to worry that the kid had stood him up. He wasn’t pranking him, right? Hell. Maybe he was. Levi didn’t understand kids nowadays… maybe Eren wanted to see if the lonely scowling college kid would actually show up._

_Levi scowled. Yeah, he thought darkly, kids are cruel. He probably…_

_The cafe door chimed as it clashed lightly across the bells in the corner of the doorframe. Levi quickly glanced up at the newcomer. Finally, the slouching form of the scrawny kid popped open through the door. Eren slid into the booth._

_Levi opened his mouth to make a snarky remark about the kid being late, but paused as he took in Eren’s appearance._

_He wore a familiar thin grey jacket that was speckled with numerous coffee stains, and his chocolate hair was frazzled. He looked… well, rushed, yes. But he looked like a reckless teenager, someone who lived in the moment._

_That was, until Levi eyed Eren closer._

_It wasn’t merely the carefree clothes and hair that caught Levi’s eyes, it was the dark bags that plagued under the teenager’s green eyes, the flinch at the slightest sounds made by the espresso machines, and the hunched shoulders of exhaustion._

_Levi frowned, taking this all in._

_Eren studied the cafe, before finding Levi’s booth and smiling and making his way over._

_“Sorry,” he breathed heavily, as if out of breath, “I got… distracted. Forgot the time, yeah?”_

_Levi nodded, “No worries, kid.”_

_Levi waved vaguely to the bench across from him and Eren sat. The teen flashed another smile weakly._

_“Uh… shall we order?” Levi asked._

_Eren flinched, darting a glance up._

_Levi raised an eyebrow, prompting Eren to chuckle nervously, “Sorry. I’m really nervous. Heh.”_

_Levi offered a smile. Perhaps he should flirt a bit? Swing the mood away from the awkwardness? “Understandable when your dining with a king.”_

_Eren blushed, then furrowed his brow as he replied, “I thought we were just drinking coffee. Not dining, you know?”_

_Levi waved offhandedly, “Bah. Whatever. Same thing.”_

_Eren snorted under his breath, glancing up coyly, “Uh-huh.”_

_“Anyway, I’ll take our orders,” Levi proffered._

_“Caramel macchiato,” the kid replied almost immediately._

_“Alright,” with that, Levi made his way to the counter and ordered a caramel macchiato for Eren and a simple Americano for himself. After his order, he quickly returned himself to his table where Eren sat quietly._

_“So,” Levi said as he slid back into the booth opposite to Eren, “can I ask why you were left bruised in that alleyway the first time we met?”_

_Eren froze, and glanced up, tension thick in the air. He laughed nervously, sweating slightly, yet Levi’s perceptive vision caught the anxious movements._

_“I just got in a fight with some school kids. Ya know, a disagreement we had to settle with our fists?”_

_Utter bullshit. Eren really was a terrible liar, Levi thought._

_Levi leaned back, feigning disinterest as he yawned, “C’mon, kid. Gotta come up with a better lie than that to satisfy me.”_

_Eren picked at his sleeve, oddly silent and unresponsive._

_Levi crossed his arms, sighing, “Look, kid. Just spill it, alright? My college art student self is not here to judge.”_

_“I… got jumped by some kids at school.” Eren admitted softly, “I’m actually bullied often.”_

_Ah. That explains a lot, Levi thought absently._

_An uneasy silence ensued._

_“I was too for a time,” Levi supplied into the awkwardness, “Got strong. Worked out. Pushed away the utter bullshit. Now I’m an art student. It’ll all work out, okay?”_

_Eren glanced up, his eyes bright and wide. Hopeful. “Really?”_

_“Yeah,” Levi said, smiling slightly at Eren’s sparkling eyes, “It can only get better.”_

_Eren glanced down again, and a small smile formed, “Yeah. I guess so.”_

_I like Eren’s smile, Levi decided, I like it a lot._

_{----------}_

_One month later, and Levi was officially dating Eren._

_He had individually kissed Eren five times so far, hugged him eleven times, had cuddled numerous times, and had hardcore made out twice. Both times in Levi’s apartment. Levi was eager to get into Eren’s pants,  
like, really fucking eager. However, he restrained himself for the nervous kid. He didn’t want to push him too far, too fast. So, he waited until Eren was more confident in their relationship. _

_On one particular summer day, Levi had finished classes and had decided on surprising Eren. He cut across town, heading to the rich neighborhood Eren had said he lived in. It was just by luck, that Levi heard the  
pained moans and the loud whoops and shouts._

_He paused, and retreated his steps, glancing into an alleyway._

_Three people were beating up on another scrawnier one._

_“Hey!” Levi shouted._

_The three men, one a burly tall guy and the two others obviously his goons, scattered at the sound of Levi’s voice resonating into the crowded alley._

_He sighed, what a pain-_

_He froze, glancing at the victim on the ground._

_“Eren?” he whispered._

_Levi raced over to Eren, splayed across the ground like a broken doll._

_“Eren!” he shouted, “Are you okay? Oh my god-!”_

_Eren glanced up -bruised, battered, bloody- and fell into a fit of coughs._

_“It’s okay,” he said quietly, “I’m used to it by now.”_

_“Who were they?” Levi demanded coldly, “I’ll flay their asses. I’ll-”_

_“His name is Mike,” Eren interrupted, “Mike Zacharias but…” ___


	17. INTERLUDE TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the prequel to the action lol sorry

“...you said his name was Mike Zacharias, the lead bully,” Levi said, “and you said that you didn’t want me running to the cops, no matter how bad it got. You always begged me not to go.”

My knuckles turned white from clenching onto the pillow so tightly, my teeth grinded, and I kept back a feral growl. How dare he… How dare he…!

He was supposed to be my friend! My old friend… if we were friends then why did he turn into my tormentor?

I shook my head, a low growl finally escaping from my lips. 

I stood up.

Levi frowned, “Where are you going?”

I walked into his room, ignoring his question as I hastily redressed myself. I turned and made my way to the door of Levi’s room, only for him to be leaning against the frame lazily. Blocking my exit. Sometime between me entering his room and trying to leave, he’d thrown on a pair of boxers and a shirt. 

He still looked really attractive- not the point, though. And definitely off-track. 

“Where are you going?” he repeated. His familiar scowl prominent.

“Home,” I replied simply, glowering, “Now, not to be rude, but move.”

Levi’s scowl deepened but removed himself from the door frame. Purposefully, I hurried to the apartment entrance, ready to leave. 

I waited for Levi to tell me not to leave. To tell me to stay. Those words never came though. How… un-cliche? Isn’t that what lovers did? Convince people not to leave and to stay with them? To leave the path of  
vengeance? 

Finally, I sighed and turned. 

“Aren’t you going to stop me?” I asked.

Levi shook his head, a wistful smile marring his face, “I’m not your lover anymore. And I’m not apart of your life anymore. I believe you’ll find your vengeance in a proper manner. Whatever that be. So, when you  
find the asshole, give him a punch for me, eh?”

He was right. I wasn’t dating him. He wasn’t in my life anymore. And no matter what, I could never rewind the clock or my life. I couldn’t go back to our summer. To our spring. To our autumn. Or to our winter. I 

couldn’t go back to our love.

We aren’t in love. We aren’t dating. And we’re not a couple.

He really doesn’t have a real reason to stop me.

So… was this it?

I smiled sharply, “You got it, Levi. See ya around.” 

I opened the door the apartment hallway and strode out.

“See ya around, kid.” he called from his apartment.

I heard the door slam shut as I turned a corner and made my way to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 447  
> don't bite my head off  
> its only an interlude to shift from memory to the now so yeah its short, sorry again  
> the real action starts next chapter so stay tuned ;)  
> -  
> so yeah. If you want an explanation of Levi and Eren's relationship now, this is it.  
> Eren and Levi have officially parted ways (or have they uwuwuw??!? lmao). I found this a proper way to end their 'relationship' because it kinda showed that they couldn't be properly together because of their shitty past? So yeah. Don't shit in my cheerios, but this is their end. Of course, it doesn't mean Levi won't come in later... ;)


End file.
